routine

Was watching the Chinese movie "Suddenly Seventeen" yesterday and I guess it came as a timely reminder to not get caught up with life and forget about the things that actually matter. I think the scary thing about doing routine things is that you lose yourself in them sometimes and it may be very hard to find the other part of yourself back again. 

With graduation coming real soon, I think the question of "What happens now?" is actually more important. But I guess, it's also equally important to remember that there is really a lot of things in life that is worth chasing for, worth fighting for. And it's really very important to remind yourself not to get to caught up in the paper chase. That there are so many things in life that matters.

I think the one thing about routine is that it's easy, it's comfortable and you are good at it. But that doesn't mean that your life is just stuck at that routine. I believe that we are really part of this world for something great, something more than just the usual. And we really just have to figure at where our talents lie in and how we can actually make a difference. In small ways or big.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you feel indignant about settling with what's comfortable, do something to change it. Don't just settle because it's easy 'cause you won't truly find happiness in whatever you are doing if you just settle. But if you are okay with settling and know that you can grow to love this, then it's okay. I guess, there is really a lot of different perspectives when you think about something. But choosing which perspective that you want to subscribe to, that you really all up to your own choice.

Okay, thoughts are pretty much all over the place but I guess I really need to find that something to be passionate about again. The zest of life HAHA but yea ah, to me, I think I'm really a person who needs to do something that I truly believe in. If not it's very difficult for me to give my 100%. So yeaaa I guess I hope that somehow I will really be able to find that.

nostalgia

Shouldn't be doing this now since I need to wake up at 6 to fetch father to the airport and have a 25% quiz later also. But late night feels calls for a bit of nostalgia as I was strolling through my Instagram on the laptop and reading all the captions and what not.

And wah, the nostalgia game is very very strong. I have always been a person who feels extremely nostalgic easily but I thought I was better lately HAHA but I guess it's very normal to feel nostalgic ah. And I guess because there are many changes going on in life now and it's hard not to hold on to the wonderful and great memories of the past. And hope that it's still manifesting in the present. =\ That's always the hardest I guess.

But I think one thing that I am always reminding myself of is that at least you had that great memories to look back on and smile. True, it's a bittersweet feeling in that things are no longer the same as it used to be. But those times existed and were very real. So I think that's what that really matters. A friend also told me recently how despite everything has changed and things are no longer the same as it was, the memories we had together doing stupid stuffs will always be there. You can't change or alter what has already happened. So I guess that's something to be thankful for.

So yea, life changes, people change, but that doesn't mean that the past was not real. And I guess this is a reminder to yourself to appreciate what you have presently and appreciate those who are still very much a part of your life. Because yea, sometimes life really sucks and things change without you knowing and wanting it to. But you really just have to deal with it and move on and remember that you still have a present and a future where you really still have the choice to decide how you want to make it.

I want something just like this

[ I've been reading books of old
The legends and the myths
Achilles and his gold
Hercules and his gifts
Spiderman's control
And Batman with his fists
And clearly I don't see myself upon that list ]  

Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay

Lately the new music has been great. With Ed Sheeran's new album and this amazing collaboration between Coldplay and The Chainsmokers. Coldplay ah mainly. Seriously seriously can't wait for their concert on 31st March =D

Anyway, this month is gonna be crazy and I haven't actually started it but I can already feel it. And it's not really a nice feeling because as you can see, I'm very restless now and somehow don't really wanna start the work that I need to do and am here posting. But okay, I guess I really just needed an outlet to just speak my mind HAHA

I realise that in this world, life really goes on without caring if you are following along with it. And it's pretty scary at times. So many things just change in an instant and it's really hard to keep up sometimes but you just have to. And the hardest part is to not let these changes get to you, which to me, it's really damn freaking hard. To someone who feels a lot, it's really hard to dissociate myself from certain things. But I guess sometimes you just have to. And really just don't worry too much and just be there for people as you are.

I guess the best thing is really just bury yourself with work and what's important and all that. Though the discipline to not get distracted by multiple things is really one of the hardest to do. But you know what, you really just have to do it. It's not a choice. Life doesn't give you a break sometimes so you just have to try your best to catch up to it.

But generally, all is good HAHA as in yeaaa I guess the main thing that is at the back of my head and something that I'm trying to run away from is what happens next once I graduate from SMU. What happens after 21st April. I know I have 2 grad trips plans so there are stuffs to be looking forward to. Then there's graduation in July. Then what? What do I do next? What should I do next? What do I want to do next?

I think these are the questions I really need to find a day to just properly think through it. Probably after April though. I know I shouldn't be waiting so long but I feel that things like these, I shouldn't rush it. True, it's really stupid to just take your time while all the good/better jobs are being taken up by others. But hmm, I guess I don't know. I may regret not doing all these planning and applying shit now, but I guess it's a consequence that I have to take since I made this decision to keep it on hold first. But of course, I guess I really need to force myself to squeeze out sometime to really just do it and stop procrastinating.

So okay, right now, time to get back to the things at hand and really just focus and complete them and really end this final sem on a good note. Don't end it half heartedly.