The King 2 Hearts

Lee Seung Gi!!! =D

I finished watching The King 2 Hearts in 3 days! It's really the best accomplishment for me in terms of drama watching. Haha! First time I chiong so fast! It's really worth watching 'cause every episode, there is something that makes you want to watch on. And even though it had 20 episodes, it doesn't feel that long. Seriously man. Usually I'll take note of the number of episodes but this time I really didn't and just kept watching. It's that good. For me lar. 

Heh, I'm partly biased too 'cause erm, just look the male lead. =D He isn't super damn good looking, but he's freaking charming and you just want to watch him. HAHA! Okok, but seriously man. He is so charming and sweet!! =D 

Yep, this is totally a fan-girlish post but the show is really good. I mean not just the actors and actresses all. The plot is well thought out and there isn't a part of the show where you think it's draggy. They really made it just right.

Jae Ha and Hang Ah! <3

Lee Seung Gi and Ha Ji Won's chemistry is super strong also. It's just nice watching them all. They really damn sweet and super cute together! Haha! Ohya, I realise I didn't say what's the plot. Lol! It was set in the modern time where there was still monarchy in South Korea. How this previous king wanted the North and South Korea to work together and establish peace between the two nations. Then how Jae Ha, the king, and Hang Ah, this North Korean woman, were set to married each other to establish relations between the North and South Korea. 

It sounds historical all but it's not really and I think the plot is really good. LOL! As in seriously, you won't regret watching! It's not exactly a light hearted drama but you will smile, laugh and cry. I was smiling a lot while watching. Haha! The show is just good lar! The villain is freaking scary but he's damn good also. 

This was what the king said to the villain.

Jae Ha: At least I had people who believed in me, so I could start over. But you don’t… have anybody. If by chance you really did kill her, that’s the end for you—the very nature of hopelessness. Because that’s what’s really important in life: people. That’s why my weapon and my strength is people. The people who believe in me. The people who held out their hands to me though I kicked them out. And even the person I shot… who loves me. Kim Bong-gu-sshi, go ahead and step on me some more. The more you do, the stronger I’ll become. Why? Because now I have to protect the people who believed in me.

It's like in your face man! As Faeqa told me, the show really feels like a movie that is super long but every part of the show is worth catching. Haha! It's a show that makes me want to watch again.  =D

And you will want to know the story of all the characters. There are some shows where you can't be bothered about the story of some characters but this one, you will want to watch every bit of it. For someone like me who likes to skip episodes, I didn't skip any single part! And really chiong watch the show like mad. =D

 

Super sweet right? You will want to be his queen. =D

Haha! I'm like having hangover from the show. Lol! I really think that everyone should watch it. Good plot, good storyline, good characters, good actors, good actresses, good music, good songs. The show is just awesome. =)

So watch it everyone! Maybe not now but when you are free 'cause it's really worth the time. You can learn some stuffs from the show too. As in seriously. Lol! It's really a good drama!!!

I shall end off with an awesome photo. =DDD

 

Just look at him!! Haha!

if you wish it, wish it now

[ There’s a field near the dream.
I watched it grow with whitest light.
I watched us all reach out and lean.
For the strength to touch the sky.

If you hear a distant sound.
And some footsteps by your side.
If you feel like coming round.
I will take you for a ride. ]

Lifeline - Angels & Airwaves

 Haha! I put up these lyrics before but it's really a nice song so I'm putting it up again.

"If you wish it, wish it loud. If you want it, say it now." Yes, do what you want now. Because life passes by so quickly that it really doesn't wait. Once you missed it, it won't return. As much as you try, as much as you want it to return, as much as you want to have that chance again, as much as you want to have those feelings again. As much as you want it, you won't have them back once it's gone, once's it has passed by us.

THE PAST IS A GOOD PLACE TO VISIT, BUT NOT A GOOD PLACE TO STAY. 

It's true. Whenever I think of the past, I will smile, and for that moment, I will slow down my walking pace as I thought back, and there is this sense of ache of wanting to go back to the past really badly. Because really, the memories then were sweet and you just want to feel that way again. But slowly, you will quicken your pace again and know that you shouldn't keep looking back and try to hold on to what remains of it. Of course, I'm not saying to forget about the past 'cause it's the past that shapes who we are now and without them, we are really nothing. But when you think of the past, it shouldn't be of how you missed it then, it's how when you think back of the past, you'll feel happy because at least you once had those feelings. You experience them once and it's something to be happy about. That at least you had it before. True, you may not have such feelings currently but that doesn't mean that going back will make any difference. And you know that even if you want to go back, it's not an option.

If you want to feel those feelings again, move forward. It only makes sense to move forward because well, that's the only thing we can do. Haha! But yea, moving forward but continue to hold on. That's how it should be. Not always staying in the past and not move forward at all. Nor should we move forward and forget the past. The past, as much as it hurts, as much as it rocks, it's something that will always be part of you and shapes how you are now. Without them, you are not who you are now.

So yes, if you want it, say it now. Don't wait. Don't hold back. Somethings just don't wait and once it's gone, you have to learn to let go of it and not cling on to it when you know that it's a lost cause. Maybe things are just meant to be like that. That's how fate leads you to it. That's how your life is supposed to be. Learn to face it, accept it, adapt to it and you will come out stronger.

I always talk about missing people, about wanting to go back into the past. Missing people isn't a bad thing. It just shows how important they are to you. But of course, wanting to go back into the past is wrong 'cause really, it's not possible. So we should really just stop comparing about the past and present.


But lol, though I really agree with what I said above, it's really sad when you realise how some things really change and you hate how it had changed, you want it back, but you know that you can't have it back anymore. Yes, the hardest thing about letting go is not because you want to but you have to. The feeling really sucks. But I guess it's really just phrases of your live you have you learn from and get through. And you know that you can get through them because you have done it before. Though yes, it will be harder as you grow older but life is well like that.

How everyone dies one day and we have to learn to accept that. That without and ending, there is no new beginning. That without parting, there is no meeting. Life is really an irony sometimes. At times, you really feel tired. But don't give up. Just hang on and someday, you will find something that just makes everything else alright. Or at least more bearable. I'm looking forward to the day where I find this one person who can make everything alright. Someone who understands me by just looking at me. Yes, I'm really excited to the day where I finally meet him. Even if I may have meet him before, I'm looking forward to the day where I just know that he is the one. Lol! Sounds damn cheesy but yes, I want stuffs like that. I am only human. Haha!

Oh well, life. It's complicated yet amazing. I'm glad to be alive and living this life. Yes, it's not perfect, it's not great always but it's still something to be grateful and thankful for.

Suck it up. Lol! That's what I kept thinking lately. I think after my sister told me this, I kept thinking about it. It's really true. Somethings, we just can't change even if we want it to change. Somethings that we want it back so much but nothing can salvage it even if you tried. So the only thing we can do is suck it up. And promise yourself to continue moving forward and live a better life.


Because some of the best moments of our lives have yet to come.

Pride issues

Sometimes, you'll have to let go of your pride in order to feel better. Sometimes, you just have to be the one to take the first step or else somethings will go misunderstood and things changes without you wanting it to. Sometimes, you just have to be the one to do it 'cause you know that by giving in, it will make you feel better. It will make the relationship stronger.

Human relationship is the most complicated thing in the world. It's not meant to be understood 'cause somethings just happen and you don't know why but it just happens. But there are always reasons why it happens, even if we may not know it yet. Everything happens for a reason, good or bad. Nothing happens out of the blue. Life is just that complicated.

But you know, what makes it great is that you won't give up in life. That at the end of the day, you are still living, you are still surviving. You continue to live. No matter how tired, how annoyed, how angry, how sad, how negative you feel, you just continue to live on because life is for living. At the end of the day, you are still alive. And that in itself is something to be thankful about.

Just look at the kids suffering from terminal illnesses. How much they want to live a longer life but they know they can't. How strong they are even though they are not even sure if they can make it through another day. How they wish that they have a longer life to live. How much they envy us. Treasure your life because some people are actually envious of the fact that you are still alive.

Sometimes, I really think I give in too easily. I can never stay angry at people for a long time. But I believe that's a good thing. Or at least, I do it at right amounts. Lol! Like I stay angry for a right period of time and suck up my pride when I think I should. Ok, I guess some stuffs may change ultimately of course. But it really feels better when you suck up your pride and be the first one to tackle whatever problem because you know that you rather have friendship over pride.

At the end of the day, pride really means nothing. So what if you have a strong pride if no one is around to know how prideful you are? Having pride and not having friends who you know you really want to hold on to. Having pride and not talking to your parents and siblings when you see them everyday. It's damn hard to stay angry at your parents and siblings 'cause it's super tiring. You see them everyday and you just know that somehow, you just can't stay angry with them forever. No matter how horrible they made you feel, you'll always forgive them. Because that's how family works. And to be true, I think that's how friendships should work too. Forgiveness and understanding.

Of course, I'm not saying you shd forgive them immediately. But don't hold on to the grudge for a long time 'cause it'll just make you unhappy. It'll make you feel more tired and really, holding grudges waste so much time when you can be happy instead.

You are wasting time being sad when you can make way better use of your time being happy. I'm not saying that we should always be happy 'cause that's just mad. No one can and shd be happy forever. It's not healthy. The right thing to do is that while being sad, you should know when is the limit and when you should start making yourself feel better. You can't always stay sad 'cause staying sad is way more tiring than staying happy. Ignoring is way more tiring than caring. Yes. Caring is tiring. It's freaking tiring but you know that some people are just worth caring. Even if they aren't, if you are tired of ignoring them, it shows that you actually rather care about them instead. If you don't feel anything then maybe they don't mean so much to you at all in the first place.

I have so many thoughts now and they are all over my head. Lol! Crying makes you tired. But crying is healthy for you too. You just let out everything aft you cry. Ok maybe not everything but a good cry really always helps. The problems may still be there. But by letting out, you won't feel so choked up.

When feelings get bottled up, when a problem remains unsolved and placed at a corner, hidden away, one day, it may just explode and it may be too late to salvage the problems then.

Yes sometimes, we need to walk away from the problem first. But don't run away from it and never go back. You know that by doing so, you won't ever be truly happy.

And be brave to open up to people. Tell them what you feel. Tell them what you are going through because really, hiding everything from people is just going to make things worse and you will feel suffocated. Sometimes, people really rather you share your problems than hiding them inside you. Don't feel that you are burdening your family or friends with your problems because they honestly don't mind. If they really care about you, they will want you to share your problems and happiness with them. Don't be scared to let them know you better. Trust I guess. That's important in any form of relationships.

Life, human relationship are really freaking complicated. But you know you need them. So don't give up on any. Sometimes, we just have to suck up our pride and be the first to make the move. Pride is really nothing as compared to what will come aft you suck up your pride. You can be the better person. The one who gives in first. But of course, stand up for yourself. Though we shd always try to forgive, don't forgive too easily. 'cause you may get hurt again. But it suck though 'cause sometimes I really forgive too easily. But I guess you just got to know where is the limit. If you know that you can really forgive, do it and don't just not forgive because of pride. You are really just wasting your own time doing so.

So yes. Pride really doesn't mean much. Lol. I typed until I fell asleep. Alright! I shall sleep early. Today was a long day. Haha! But I'm really glad I swear. Life may seem to suck sometimes you always remember that there are always people to share this sucky life with you.

I'm thankful I'm blessed I'm grateful I'm glad I'm contented. Let go off your pride. Dare to be thick skin. You really just got to be brave and be thick skin and be the one to give in first. Of course, everyone has a pride and it's hard to overcome that but sometimes we got to try in order to make things work, to make things easier.

Don't be lazy. Don't take the easy way out which is to give up and ignore the matter. It may be tiring to care so much. Of course it can get really tiring. But what's worse is letting things go because you are lazy and come to regret it later.

Human relationships are fragile but what makes it break is when people stop trying. When being busy becomes an excuse to how relationships break and fail. Yes, we are busy. But if we try, if we give it a shot, it's really not that hard. Trying is better than wondering. Don't leave any regrets when you know that something can be done to salvage it. If it doesn't, at least you know that you tried it. At least you tried.

Live life right and don't leave any room for regrets. A strong pride will only make you feel worse. And take care of your heart. It's heck of a fragile but you need your heart.

This year, this half a year hasn't been great. But I've learned so much from the many things that happened. I come to realise so many things and I guess all these things made me stronger and mature. So I guess though it sucks, but I'm thankful for everything that happened. There's so much thinking today that I'm really so drained and tired now. But I'm glad for all the talks and tears and laughters today.

I feel so drained suddenly. Lol! But it's good in a way. I want hugs suddenly. HAHA! Hugs are warm and comfortable. And it'll always make you feel better. =D

white haired gorilla =D

 

HAHA! Our super belated birthday surprise for Sweden. =D We had it on the day of the guitar concert! It was supposed to be a way nicer plan but the weather sucked so oh well. But yea!! Sweden was happy. Haha! We made that book thing for him! Rather last minute but I cut the letters a few days before his actual birthday! We should have rushed it out lor. But nevermind! The thought that counts. =D 

 

 And the cake that Feli made!! Haha! They were all trying to figure out what the letters were. Damn lousy. But yep! Feli's cake was quite nice! A bit sweet but really not bad lar. Good job! Haha!

Gah. I really miss Agents. Really man. They are ridiculous people but they are hell of an important to my life. Need to meet up with them soon! Somehow, I really can't get sick of meeting up with them. Just that the schedule all clash. Actually, it's just Junyuan. Haha! Who tell him so busy with dance. Tsk tsk. But okok, we all have our busy periods. I miss Sakea-ing with them and badminton! We should do that this June hols! Study and play. =D

Ya!! We actually did meet up to do homework during sec 4 June hols and they were rather successful!  So we can one. Haha! And you know, I think I forgive to easily, but maybe it's 'cause yea, the friendship matters more to me and I just know that I don't want things to be like how it is now. It will be just too weird. I can never silent treatment a person for long 'cause yes, I want to talk. Lol. Sounds funny but yea. Talking is good. =D

And lol. I don't know why but I'm trying to match us to Avengers. HAHA! Ok wait ar, there's Hulk, Captain America, Iron Man and Thor. And Nick Furry. Haha! Junyuan shall be Hulk 'cause he's angry. =D I want to be Nick Furry 'cause he was the one that gathers them all. Wahahahaha. Iron Man shall be Sweden 'cause he knows a lot of all those stuffs and can talk a lot of weird nonsense. Feli can be Captain America 'cause he's quite clueless and old-dated like Feli. =D Brendan can be Thor 'cause Thor is just weird. HAHA! Ok, clearly I'm getting tired 'cause all these nonsense actually came out. Yep, they will kill me when they see this unless they like what they are, which I doubt it. But it's true what! It all matches well. Haha!

But yes!! The Avengers is good. =D I want to watch Iron Man, Thor and Hulk! I've watch Captain America so it's ok. But I don't mind rewatching. =D And even if the movie wasn't that good, watching so many good looking guys on screen is good enough. Haha! Sigh, ok, I think I should sleep now.

cool calm collected~

 

Sharon's birthday on 16th May!! The awesome board that we made for her! They came over to my house to make the thing and it's really damn cool! You have to melt the wax crayon with a hairdyer. It's damn cool lar!! We were super excited by it. =D 

The whole process is damn cool!! And quite fast too. We were damn fascinated by it. Haha! 

So yes! Her actual birthday! The surprise was quite fail 'cause she is observant. =( So she kinda figured out what we were doing. Ok, maybe I kinda suck too. Haha! But yep! She was happy ba! =D The board is nice! Haha! With our letters of course. Joyce baked the cake as well. Damn cool. =D

 

Haha! We actually blindfolded her. Quite funny lar.

 

And we took the Pandora Polaroid film! It's super pretty!! The borders damn nice and all. I like! Haha!

Hope she had an awesome birthday with us that day!! Though our surprises all fail. Haha! Never mind! Next time must surprise her before or after her birthday and not on her birthday so she won't expect anything. =D

small little girl. =D

 

 YL's birthday on 27th April! We didn't celebrate much for her on her actual birthday 'cause we had annoying geog test that day. But there was cake! Haha! She is damn awesome 'cause she's damn blur and clueless. Though ok, she kinda found out a little bit of stuffs 'cause of my notebook. Sigh. I really need to stop showing people stuffs and keep everything to myself. Lol! 

But oh well, she was still surprised by the cake. I hope? Haha! But yep! Our real present is below!!

 Box full of junk food~! Haha! We put in 18 of her favourite snacks inside with our letters! =D Though some snacks aren't really her most favourite but not bad! She managed to finish them. Haha! But we took some too. =D 

And wah!! The scariest thing is that we wanted to get her a notebook at first. And it was a notebook I saw at Popular during the weekends and on Monday, she told us she just bought this notebook from Popular and it's the exact same notebook. Freaky lar!!! But it shows that I know her taste. Haha! Good friend. =D 

Anyway, so yep! The box is pretty~! Haha! And the food inside. =D We went to eat at Fushionopolis after that and went mad at Starbucks too. Haha! YEA!! Hope YL did have a great birthday with us. =D

Super like this group photo! =D

Ohya! And we bought a tumblr for her too! And I love the words on her tumblr. You Ungrateful Kid Lovely Irritating Natural Goddess~ HAHA! We the best. =D

And HAHA! Our Polaroid film together. =D

I didn't really like it at first 'cause I really look damn retarded but it's somehow very us so oh well~ At least I can see my eyes here. Haha! Happy 18th YL! =DDD

Ahahahahaha, I shall update my life from million years ago. Today was the end of terms! And the start of June Hols. A very busy one in fact. All the extra lessons all. Sigh. But yes, it's for our own good. Just that it still sucks. =\ I want to meet so many people this holidays but I doubt it will be possible. Quite sian.

Met up with these people on 14th April! Yes, it's damn long ago. Haha! Miss them super lot already. I mean yea, last time I met them was Guitar Concert but we didn't really get to hang out for long. June hols!! Must meet up. =D Just talked to them on LINE and it's damn funny. =D

Went to NJ's carnival on 21st April 'cause of this girl here. Tsk tsk. I was the only supporter! Haha! Should have grab more people to go with me. Feli was supposed to go with me but she had phone issues. Lol! So I went there alone. But yep, lucky Sijia and Ian could entertain me. =D Super long since I last met them!! And it's always nice to meet them 'cause they are ever so the same retarded people. =)

 

Had dinner with Jeslyn, Benson, Weiqiang and Ms Lim on 22nd April, Sunday! It was quite a pleasant dinner 'cause super long since I met up with the rest except Jeslyn. The guys were going army so they called us out for dinner before they enlist. Quite thoughtful of them. Haha!

27th April is a short girl's birthday~ Haha! Shall talk more in another post.

Meet up with the troublsome Weiying and Faeqa on 27th April! Haha! Okok, they both came all the way to Fushionopolis just to have lunch with me. =D yayyyy I have cool friends. Haha! But yea lar, of course they complained all. Haha! And we had the free Starbucks~ I just love how they made me queue for them while they sat there and talk. Tsk. They are always the best lar. =D

Had to go back to school on 28th April for GP Mock exam! Sort of celebrated YL's birthday after that too. =D Ohya! Weiying, Faeqa and I called Kenneth for his birthday too. WE ARE SO NICE! Haha! Ok, we kinda like to annoy pple with that too. More people we supposed to call but they slept. And this boy. He is the best lar. He slept while on the phone with us. Awesome right? Ungrateful much. But ok lar, I think he was secretly happy that got such lame pple doing stuffs like that for his birthday. =D 

Had newspaper collection CIP on 29th April! Woke up super early in the morning to travel to Jurong Point for it! Super tiring but I guess it was quite worth it! So yay! Not bad. Haha!

3rd May is my sister's 21st birthday! Though didn't really celebrate much for her but I did stuffs for her hor! Nothing fanciful though. Haha! I just wrote a super duper long letter for her along with a map things. Hope she liked it! =D

Guitar concert on 6th May! The photos weren't that great 'cause it was rushed since they only had a few minutes to take photos with us. Lol! But yep! Their concert was good! Better than last year's one. And it was at Esplanade! Not that the place had a lot of difference but yep! The songs all not bad! =D

Oh!! I watched The Avengers on that day of the guitar concert too! I watched the movie twice actually. Haha! But it's good! =D Shall talk more about it in another post. =D

Aft that life was pretty much the same old. Lol! Since mid year exams were coming. Sharon's birthday on 16th May! Which I will say in another post as well.

Went to support netball on 18th May! It was at Republic Poly and against Hwa Chong! We went to support last year also! And it was against HCJC and at RP also. Haha! So cool. =D And of course, our netball girls won. Haha! They are really damn pro!

And yes! Mid year exams!! My exams only lasted 2 days 'cause I only had 3 papers since we are tested on our H2s this time round and they happen to put Math and Geog on the same day. I doubt I'll do well. But I guess yea, I'm really looking long term at A levels instead. =\ And yes! June hols! I'll make good full use of it. To rest, to relax, but also to catch up and get my head in the game. Quite glad that a lot of my friends have their mid years after so I can mug with them during June hols as well. =D

it's not hard.

Trust. Have you got any? You know how I felt previously, you know the disappointment, the anger. So why did you do this? What are you scared of? What do we mean to you? I really wonder why I care so much sometimes. Is it even worth it?

Have you have the feeling that you are losing friends slowly? That as you grow older, somehow, things just change, people drift away, relationships between people get strained. But how despite having such feelings sometimes, you also realise how some friendships will just stay forever, and yes, I'm freaking thankful for them.

I need to meet up with people who don't take me for granted. Who can tolerate my nonsense and be nonsensical with me too. People who are honest, true and sincere. Thankyou, for being in my life. For letting me know that come what may, you guys will always be there. This kind of friendship where it's just stuck. That despite the hell of a hectic and busy life all of us have, we know that we are still on each other's minds always.

letting go

 

Letting go. It's hard. But sometimes, we really have no choice. And if we don't let go, we can never move forward and we will never find out what wonderful things that may come our way if we have move forward earlier. Things don't always go according to plan. Sometimes life is just well, a surprise. We can never know what to expect and if we always hold on to what we could not have, we'll never know what awaits us. 

It's hard. I know it's hard. But sometimes we just have to learn how to let go because it's not for us to hold on. True, letting go makes you realise how many things you may be losing. But if you keep trying to hold on whatever remains of it, you will never be happy. Happiness becomes something out of reach. And you gain nothing from it. So why hold on when you know it's time to let go? 

There are many things in my life thus far that I'm beginning to realise I should let go. Somethings are just not within my reach and why suffer so much when by letting go, things will be easier, and you may find things that are more worthy to hold on to. 

Letting go of memories, of photos, of videos, of everything. That's hard. That's really hard. I'm still trying to learn how to. But I realise that yes everything happens for a reason. When you lost something you can't replace. Maybe God wants you to create new and even better and greater memories. And the thing is, you won't just forget the past memories even if the photos are lost. If the memories are worth the keep, you will remember it even without photos and all. Yes, photos means hell lot to me. It's me after all. But I can't do anything about it once it's gone. Technology, sometimes, fails us when we rely on it too much. 

It sucks of course. But I know that there really is no point holding on. What matters most is that the people are still around. New photos can be created again. Though it may not be the same, but at least the people in the photos are still around. True, not all are around but what matters is that they are still in your heart. And they always will be. I guess the part about letting go isn't giving up, but finding happiness in the past, present and future? Letting go is allowing greater things to come in. 

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for you.

- Joseph Campbell 

Time to let go to let better ones come. It's not easy but it's worth the shot because only by letting go, you will be happier. Only by letting go, you can find greater happiness. I'm not saying to let go of everything in the past and not hold on. Letting go of what is not worth holding on to. Of course, hold on what's worth it. Hold on as tight as you can and know that somehow, you just won't lose it.

Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall - Coldplay

[ And all the kids they dance
All the kids all night
Until Monday morning feels another life
I turn the music up
I'm on a roll this time
And heaven is in sight ]

Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall - Coldplay 

I found out the reason why I always hold on. Lol! Ok maybe not found out, just realise why I will hold on. Because it's worth it. Because at the end of the day, I know that everything will be alright. Because we know that having each other around mattered way more than the small little arguments. These kind of friendships, are worth holding on, even though we can get so pissed off and annoyed at each other at times, upset and unhappy with each other. We tell each other why we are so, we talked it out. And you just know that everything will be alright ultimately. That's what makes such friendships rare, special and especially dear. It's the kind of friendships where people outside of the friendship may not understand but we do. And that's enough. The friendships where we don't care what others say about us, we just do what we want to. Be true to each other and know that we have each other around.

I'm really grateful. That I found such friends in my life. I miss them. All of them, be it those I see often or not. Somehow, I can never get enough of them. Haha! These are the people who can just make you smile without wanting to. Thinking about them makes you happy somehow, knowing that they are still part of your life. And you know that, somehow, you don't have to worry that they won't continue to be part of your life. That's the best part I think. Knowing that they will always be there for you no matter what. That they will be there.

Gahhh I really want to meet up with many people soon. Seriously miss all of them like mad. And I need more photos. LOL! It has really been seriously a long time since I spam with my camera. I kinda miss that feeling. I miss spamming photos of people who are reluctant to take photos!!! Haha! The annoyance they feel and how they just give up and let me take them. =D And how by giving up, they still won't pose for me, but they just won't complain that I'm taking photos of them. So it's the natural look. Haha! I guess I just miss taking photos in general. Photos of people who mattered to me. I think maybe 'cause it's been a long time since I really go out go out. And go places where we can take photos. We should go explore weird places again. =D

Now, I just really wish time can fast forward so that I can do all the things that I want to do without feeling guilty for doing it. We can get through this!!! Life surprises. Haha! Ah, I'm so glad really. I mean yes, life isn't perfect but since when was it so? As long as you are satisfied, as long as you are contented, as long as you know how to get happiness from the little things, as long as I don't know, just knowing that everything will be alright and that life is just beautiful.

I'm really thankful that God gave me a mind that can think postively even after feeling negative. I'm glad that I can never stay negative. Of course, there are times when I'm really negative but I'm glad that I know how to get out of the negativity.

Always look on the bright side of life~
Someone taught me that when I was just a 9 year-old kid. And I guess it just stuck.

tired

I'm tired. Of school, of cca, of friends, of family, of everything. Time is really hard to grab hold. As you grow older, time is really something out of your control. You want to make time for people but you can't. And it's not even excuses 'cause there is just so much things to do that you just don't have the time to do everything and some things just have to be sacrificed. Friendships become fragile at times and you feel tired of holding on to it sometimes. But the thing about me is that I'll always hold on no matter what. No matter how stupid it is of me to hold on. And how even though you are feeling downright shit now, you still have to put on a false excited and happy facade 'cause everyone else is feeling shot as well and you decided to not make them feel worse but feel better in some ways. But then, you'll feel really tired. Having to fake it all. And how some people don't even appreciate you being happy and excited, even though it's fake. Hey, at least I bothered and make the effort to try to make you feel better. So don't come saying and complaining. It's tiring I swear. Having to fake that everything is alright when it's not. But no matter how stupid it seems, no matter how tiring it is on you, in the end, you'll still do it. Because you don't want people to feel like you. You want them to know that they have someone there for them. I know that I have people supporting me so I guess even though I'm tired sometimes, I know that at least I have people who really cares, who really bothers. I really wonder why people just won't make the effort sometimes. And why people just can't take a step back and give in. Yes, maybe the other person is in the wrong. But if you are really angry, don't talk immediately. Walk away first. Because you know that if you don't walk away, you will say a lot of mean things that you will regret saying later. That's why when I'm really angry, I will try not to give a reply immediately because I know that I am capable of saying very mean stuffs. I'll take a step back. Wait until my anger subside before I speak to the other party. Yes, at that anger moment, I rant to other people but at least not to the person I'm angry at. Because if I were to give a reply at that point of time, I know that I'll regret whatever things that I said. And by then, some things just won't be the same again. And fights yes, I'm not saying fights are bad but really, fights just makes people feel tired. Maybe it's my way of doing things. You can say that I'm a coward 'cause I'll rather give in than to fight. But I'm not saying that I won't fight for what I think is right. I'll wait until when I'm more calm, when I think through things carefully, then I'll reason out. I'm careful, I'm not rash. I'm not sure if it's actually a good thing always but sometimes, you really just got to do it. Or else some words said cannot never be taken back no matter what. Ah I really hate this. There is so many stuffs going on that I feel that I'm becoming numb to everything. I care about all to the point where I'm just tired and lifeless and numb. Times like this, I just wish that I can ignore the world and just be in my own shell. CCA. Oh, that's a long story that I guess I'll save it for next time if I feel like. I want to get out. I feel choked up. I need to study. Argh seriously, I want to be rich sometimes 'cause that way, I can just go any places I want when I feel like it. Any country, any place to just get away from everything. Ok it feels better letting it all out. Yes, I'll continue to be positive because that's how I want to live everyday with. No point feeling negative and sad and annoyed by everything. Just let go of all the unhappiness. Really. Why bother holding on to things that makes you feel sad? I guess yea, even though I'm tired now, I know that I won't be tired forever. I know that somehow, I will get through it all. That everything will be all right. I believe. I hope. I have faith. Know that there are people worth living for, worth being happy with and happy for.