Really shouldn't be actually watching stuffs and reflecting now but I guess when you watch something that is very real and happening to our lives now, there are bound to be some thoughts and reflections that just needs to be done now.
I watched "Before The Flood" which is this documentary about climate change by the National Geographic Channel, starring Leonardo DiCaprio. And it certainly was worth my hour and a half watching it. Yes, we know that global warming is real, we know that climate change is real. I've studied this in Geography. I felt it first hand when I visited the different countries in Europe and realised how strange the weather conditions are at times. In Singapore, we only felt the heat. But overseas, the erratic weather is truly what's scary.
I guess what stuck me the most is how Leonardo DiCaprio uses his influence to get people to be more aware of this situation with climate change. I think that is very impressive. Of course, I'm sure he truly believe in the cause as well. But you see, not many people of influential power use that power given wisely. And he is very consistent with his fight for climate change and I think it's quite admirable of him.
One thing that I always felt after watching such stuffs is okay, so now what can I do? I don't have the power or influence or knowledge to go around telling people to change their habits and start being environmental friendly. I guess that's why I find him even more particularly admirable because he knows he has the potential power to influence people and it's up to him how he wants to do it and from what I see, he is doing it pretty right.
But I think yea, I need to stop thinking about what I cannot do and start thinking about what I can actually do. I guess recently, with graduation coming soon, I've really been thinking about what I actually want to do once I graduate. How can I fully utilise this piece of paper that I have? And in the first place, do I actually need to utilise it? True, not utilising it means I kinda wasted 4 years and a lot of money to end up just throwing this degree away. But I guess, it's all not completely wasted? I'm very sure that I've learned a lot and gotten a lot of insights from my 4 years, stuffs that I really won't get if I didn't choose this path. So I'm still glad. Still no regrets whatsoever.
Just that I guess what's really important right now is moving forward. So what's next? Say if I really want to do something and make a difference and change to this world, no matter how small it is, how am I going to do it? How am I going to achieve it? What should I do to reach this goal? I guess right now it should no longer be empty words and really doing something about it and work towards it. I have been disappointed with myself countless of times over the course of my 22 years and yes, 22 years isn't actually very long but I ought to stop feeling disappointed and start doing stuffs that I can actually be happy and proud of myself for. Like looking forward and moving forward. The past is what had already been so it's the future that really counts now.
So yes, I guess I really need to find a day to properly just think and ask myself all the hard questions that I have been escaping since forever. What do I truly actually want to do in this life? What do I hope to achieve? I think for me, the most important question is how am I going to do it? Often, I know what I want, but it's always the execution that fails. I don't do it. I say and say and say, but I don't do it.
So I think right now I really need very concrete and real plans moving forward. And I guess I really need to keep constantly reminding myself about this. Stop procrastinating. Stop thinking that I still have time. Start prioritising. And start thinking for yourself and what you want to do. I believe that we are all here in this life for a purpose. Be it big or small. There is something that we can all do. It's really just what can we do. How can we do. And the most important thing is to do it. All that talking really doesn't get you anywhere.
But with that being said, I'm not saying that right now we must live everyday with a purpose and what not. Of course, still enjoy this life because we only have one and we should live it to the fullest. But I guess also living it in a way that makes the world a better place? Being a better person doesn't make you lame or strange or weird. Being kind and nice doesn't make you lose out. At the end of the day, I always believe that good guys come first. Or rather, you don't have to come first but you just feel better in general about everything when you do good.
I guess, I really just hope that somehow all these things can get instilled in my brain that I don't need all these constant reminders to remind me of them. But I guess I'm still learning, still growing, still changing and I certainly hope that I will change to become a better and more independent person and really just stop being lazy and start doing things instead of just lip service.
But okay, right now, let's focus on making my final year at SMU worthwhile and end it off well.
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