life goes on

End of the first week of As. I'm feeling all sorts of weird. Maybe that's what happens when you are hungry and home alone.

As so far hasn't be great. Though I'm forcing myself to move on and don't think abt the past papers since it will just kill me and demoralize me since there are still 4 papers left. I really didn't know it will be so bad.

"Nobody said it was easy, but no one ever said it would be this hard."

It's scary how I may be screwing up my life yet I'm not all that worried? I know As doesn't mean everything but what happens if it is really bad? Ahhh ok I should really just leave all these until after As.

Maybe that's why I'm feeling like that now. All the suppressed feeling. Hence, this is really a scary exam. You can feel sad but you really have to force yourself to move on. Because this is a few weeks long of exams. And you can't give up half way since you are at it. Yes, I'm lying to myself that everything will be alright in the end.

I guess, maybe it's not lying. Maybe I really have to trust and believe that everything will really be alright in the end. And give myself this strong push to finish the next 4 papers well and proud. Yes, I really want to feel good abt the paper aft it ends. So far, I only felt somewhat good aft math paper 1. Which may have been a false good feeling? Since it was because prelim math paper 1 was a killer and As was better than that. But that's a given.

All these negativity. Lol! I think it's cumulated. Maybe I should really just let it out before it kills me.

Yes, I have to come back strong. This isn't over. I still have 2 more subjects and I have to keep the faith and push forward. And at least know that you did your best and not leave any room for regrets. And come what may, whatever happens next year on results day, just remember that life still goes on.

Life is much more than just exams, grades, results and stuffs. Yes, it may seem the way now but remember that it really isn't. But yes, we really just have to finish this race. It's tiring but hang in there for just these few weeks.

When you feel tired, borrow strength from your family and your friends. They are there to support you and to cheer you on. I'm really thankful for my family and friends. My mum and my dad. Seriously, I'm really lucky to have them. Because they really have faith in me when I don't. And they really don't put pressure on me and know that results aren't everything. They are really the best. And my friends. How they have faith in me too when I don't. For believing that I can do it even when I don't. I'm really grateful to God for blessing me with them. To know that yea, I have people who believe and have faith in me. And I'm thankful to have God too. For giving me strength each day to carry on. For being by my side during exams. For keeping me calm and holding me strong. For never giving up on me. Thank you God. You are really the greatest.

"When you've only got a hundred years to live."

100 years. I'm only at my 18th year. There are many more years to go, many more trials to be faced, many more problems, many more setbacks. Yet there are also many more happiness, many more laughter, many more good memories, many more smile, many more successes, many more achievements. Yes, life may seem pretty bleak now, but there are still so many years to go. We are young. With a huge future in front of us. Each of us has a different future. It may seem a blur now, but since when was the future ever clear?

Faith and hope. Believing. Keep the faith, it will really bring us through this. And it's not just A levels, but life in general. Whatever setbacks we faced, keep the faith. Because drowning in your sorrows really won't get you anywhere.

Hang in there everyone!!! We will get through all the tough times in ourselves. We have each other and yes, life goes on and there are so many more things to worth looking forward to, so many more things to be happy about than being sad about the same thing over again.

We have the ability to control how we want to feel. Happy or sad, you are the one to decide.