Anyway, the purpose of this post isn't to diss them but to truly praise them. Because today I just got reminded of how freaking lucky I am to have them as my parents and I truly want to somehow grow up faster, get a good paying job and go travelling with them. Because I realise that they are not getting any younger but they are still working freaking hard just so that my sister and I can get the best. Of course, they are working hard for their own retirement as well because they don't want to rely on us. Which honestly, they are crazy because they can completely rely on us in the future. But you see, these two people here are just selfless. I'm not just saying it because they are my parents but their personalities are truly selfless. Whatever they do, they will always think about other people. Yes, they will think about themselves too but from what I see, they are always looking out for others, helping others to become better.
But it truly sucks how they are so busy now and working so hard. I really want to help them but my abilities are limited. Which yes, I know I should help them more in ways that I can so I am going to do my best. Because yes, I realise they are always crazy supportive of whatever I do. And they will always assure me to go pursue whatever I want. Take this exchange for instance, I am legit worried about money issues 'cause let's face it, Europe is expensive. But today my dad was telling me to not worry about the money issue and just have fun. Just enjoy my time there and yes, they will work hard to earn the money for me. And it sucks. 'Cause I feel truly like a burden for having to rely on my parents for money. I know, I'm studying and not earning much so it kinda makes sense that they will be the ones to sponsor this trip. And yes, I know that I will pay them back in the future. But when you see how hard they have to work to ensure that our family lives a considerably comfortable life, your heart will just ache. I want them to stop travelling so much but their job kinda requires them to travel. I want to accompany them in their travels but I'm bounded by school and everything else. And yes, money issues as well. And times like these I really wish that somehow I am earning money too and providing for the family so that they don't have to work so hard.
Though I'm quite used to them travelling and stuffs, it still gets quite lonely in the house sometimes. Like there are times when I will really miss them. Yes, I'm really still very much a child that needs my parents. Needy youngest ah. And I guess yea, knowing that I am twenty-one already but still very much dependent on them isn't a great feeling. I know that I shouldn't be thinking of it as that but it would really be great to see them enjoy their life and work lesser. One very heart-aching thing is when you see them ageing. And the scariest thing about my parents is that they look young but they are actually not. And that's when we get a bit complacent because sometimes looking at them you will really forget that hey, they are getting older too. Because yes, as you get older, they too get older.
"When we are young, we think our parents will always be there. After we grow up, as we watch them age and grow frail, we know rationally that one day we will have to say farewell, yet emotionally we find it hard to imagine it happening. Then one day our parents are really gone, and so we are left with a sense of loss and pain. That is the human condition."
This was an extract from Lee Hsien Loong's eulogy for Lee Kwan Yew and yes, it's something that I really cannot see myself going through. I am very much reliant on them and yea, though I know that one day, I will have to say farewell but the thought of it is just something that I don't even want to think about.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm truly blessed to have these two people as my parents. They are dorks sometimes but they are my favourite dorks. And yes, I'm a horrible child who gets angry and annoyed at them over the smallest stuffs but they are always strangely understanding. I come to realise that as your parents get older, they start to demand lesser from you for fear of being burdens to you. But guys, you all are the supposed to be burden to your children. Or rather, it really is our responsibility to take care of you guys when you are older. That's for taking care of us when we were young.
So yes, I will keep my promise to earn lots of money and bring you guys around the world. Just promise me to stay healthy and fit to do so for the next 50 years to come.
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