eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

"Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders."

This thing about memory is something that you have no control over. You can't just choose to forget something because you want to. There are some things that you try your best to forget but you just can't.

Just watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and I really regret not watching it earlier. It made me realise that yea, there are some things in life where no matter how hard you try to change it and alter it by simply "forgetting", somehow it will all just come back to you.

It's really interesting though because saying that you want to erase someone from your memory seems like the best way to forget the "pain and misery" that they have cost you. But the thing with erasing memory is that you forget everything about that person, including the good times. I remember wanting to erase people off my mind before but yes those were childish days HAHA but yea, now that I think about it, no. No matter what happened, each memory forms a part of our lives and shaped the way we think and the way we are at present. By simply erasing that one part of your memory, it just changes everything and you are not who you are anymore. It's just a very weird idea.

I remember discussing this with a friend on whether it's good to have it and lose it or not have it at all. Initially I said to not have it at all. But then I realise by not having it at all, it's good that you don't know what you are missing out on but there is this sense of emptiness? Because yea, you don't have it. So actually maybe having it before at least like you know what is it like to have it. And though you lose it, at least you have the memory of having it. And I believe that there are good memories to remember of it even if you lose it. Things that will make you look back and smile.

But I think the most important part of life is really just to live in the present. Sure, the past may look great, was great and seemed to be better than it is now but the thing about the past is that it won't come back. What happened in the past stays there. So the only thing we can do now is to treasure what you have now and make the best out of the future. You can't go back but you can go forward. And the future is something unexpected but yet exciting. It's scary but limitless.

I guess there is this thing with fate that you can't really control. Or rather, God's plan. Not to sound all religious and stuffs but I truly still do believe that God has a plan for everyone and it will all pan out. Right now, it all may seem a blur and confusing but I guess it's about trusting and having faith in God or whoever that you believe in that things will work out in the end.

Of course, you don't just sit there and wait for things to happen. God will only help those who help themselves. People who are actually doing something about their own lives. So I think I have no idea where I'm going with this post just that memories are important in shaping you but you shouldn't live in them. Live in the present and believing that everything will work out eventually.