hello

It has been so long that I think I kind of forget that I have this as well hahaha

But I guess it's always nice to come back once in awhile and read back the thoughts that I used to have. And realise that to be honest, nothing much as changed, in both good and bad ways. I'll probably try to reflect proper about 2019 more. 

For now, it's a strong reminder to myself here that I am in control of my own life and my own story. Of course, God has His plans for me but definitely if you feel that there is something not right, please do something and stop being passive. You don't like people being passive but why are you being passive about your own life?

I think that's my main problem? I gotta start figuring myself out before I figure other people out. You can't fully know other people if you don't even know yourself and the things you want and the things you feel for. So yes Yi Fang, here is a reminder that it is okay to be in a slump, it is okay to feel like shit. But you should always remember that things will get better but you gotta get yourself out of it and do something about it as well. And it is also okay if you don't want to do something about it right now. I guess most importantly is to do things and feel things that you want to. Stop being so hard on yourself and feel that you need to do things and etc. 

I think I should a bit contradicting in the previous paragraph but I guess what I'm trying to say is just cut yourself some slack and learn to enjoy the simple things. Don't be so uptight and serious about everything and just let things be. Learn to let go and enjoy whatever you have. Life really really isn't that hard if you let yourself go once in awhile. You don't need to be in control of every thing. Learn to trust and have faith.