rainy and cold and alone in the house make you feel negative somehow

I just want to curl up in my bed and not do anything. This weird nagging feeling, this bloody unsettling feeling inside, it's so freaking annoying. I can't shake it off and focus and it's honestly making me very annoyed with myself. I can't even pinpoint what exactly is bugging me because it feels like it's the accumulation of too damn lot of things.

I'm trying my best to think happy thoughts but it's kinda hard when there is just too much. Too damn freaking lot of things to do. It's very very annoying. I guess the most annoying part is how there are so many things to do but here I am still not exactly doing them. Or taking them long.

And freak, I miss people. It's just how some people you need to see from time to time to make you feel better somehow. Jialat sia. How to go exchange like that? And I guess it sucks 'cause you want to talk to them more often but then also, you don't have the time 'cause yes. And I guess I miss more of hanging out with them to not do anything. Like I mean I do see people I like who are in the same sch with me but we will always be doing work and sch related stuffs 'cause yes, right now, life's really like this. So yes, I miss hanging out with them for hanging out.

And my family also. My dad and my sis are both overseas now so it's just me and my mum and she's staying over at my grandma's to accompany my grandparents. I want to accompany my mum to many places 'cause it's just the two of us here in sg but freak, these few weeks just so happen to be the most time-crunching weeks. Sucks ah. It really sucks.

I need to find some sort of genuine inner peace. And I don't know, start doing freaking work. Time to work a lot more harder. Freak lar Yi Fang. Stop ruining your own life. It's damn stupid. 

But in other better news, Mayday's concert was really good. HAHA! And their songs are stuck in my head. The best part is one of the songs that is stuck in my head wasn't even a song they sang during the concert. LOL But they are really amazing I swear. My favourite Chinese group. 'cause their songs are really damn solid.

Anyway, yes, back to work I need to calm down and freaking hell focus already. No time to lose. And also, other people depend on me doing work so I really need to up my game.