white flag

You may probably be reading this. Even if you are or aren't, I don't really care. Even if you don't know if I'm talking about you, I don't really care. Because I don't want to bother about you and your life anymore. I'll let you live your own life because yea, you are freaking 20 years old already. And we have given you ten thousand advices that I guess have all gone to waste.

I'm not angry. Ok, probably right now, I am because it's still quite fresh. But it's more of the kind of anger where you honestly don't give a shit anymore. Thank you for wasting all those time talking to you about all these. I didn't think it was wasted time initially 'cause I thought that you will actually take those advices. But yep, I was wrong. And guess what? It wasn't the first time that I was wrong. This whole situation looks too damn familiar. Yet again. You can say that it's different. I will try to believe you. But don't blame me for being skeptical.

Oh yes, and the best part is I hear no news from you. Either you are scared of telling us or that you also don't bother about what we are going to say anymore. Or sick of hearing what we are going to say. Or that we will judge you or what not. If you dare say that the reason you didn't tell us was because we are so busy, then well, I don't even know what to say. Because yes, we are busy, but we will make time for people we care about. We aren't busy until we don't even have time for anything else.

Aiya, actually, you know what, I'm really raising the white flag. I don't know what you are thinking, but I hope that somehow you are actually doing something right. And I still hope that I may be wrong about all this because yes, I still want the best for you even though you disgust me so much recently because once you are my friend, it's hard to just throw you away.

But you know, I really have no energy to care anymore. Just think about what you have done and freaking hell consider other people's feelings. Not mine. Not any of your friends. But the people who you hurt the most. Think about what the hell they are feeling right now. And don't freaking blame them for feeling this way. And don't self-pity. Because that will just make you more disgusting.