older sister to these bunch of children

Still can't help emphasising how much I really love these people. And how car rides with them are always crazy but mad fun and they are the sweetest people in their own non-obvious ways but I can feel it HAHA the thing is, they are just really awesome people by nature. There's no conscious effort to be great. They just are great. 

And sigh, I really think we need a van or a mini bus. There is just too many of us here. But freak, seriously mad thankful for their existence. 

People who truly appreciate you like mad. And treats you right. And how we really support and have each others' back.

I really want December to come soon though. So that I can really just sit and enjoy and do fun stuffs with these people. Because time spent with them is really never enough. Really no idea why I need to see them from time to time so much. Needy. HAHA but yea, they are truly God's blessings. Thank You for blessing me with these angels who are also devils. HAHA. 

Driving these kids around is really testing my concentration skills when driving. And also patience. And also to drive with half-closed eyes 'cause I'll be laughing majority of the time. HAHAHA But it's all cool. They are training me to be the best driver in tolerating all these screams and shouts and nonsense.

we'll write a song

Okay since I'm pretty sick of how my blog is all filled with not very happy stuffs, I'll post about one of the concerts I went this year. HAHA! Which is okay, my first concert this year; WE THE KINGS!!

 HAHAH I really love how Swap's fist was perfectly positioned.

Anyway, so went to We The Kings's Concert on 4th June! Initially I was thinking whether to go 'cause I only know a few of their songs. But I had regretted many concerts and super crazy glad that I went for this 'cause it was damn freaking awesome. Like the atmosphere, the crowd, THEM. All were super crazy and awesome.

And of course, going with these crazy people. And how we made new friends. And how we looked like secondary school kids. LOL! For real. Like this girl below.

HAHA! Her first concert!! And wah I swear for her first concert, it was really a super good experience. She damn lucky!! And technically, she is not yet 20 years old as of today. Tsk.

OHYA! It was when we were queing for the toilet when this girl behind us just suddenly talk to us and she was sec 4 or first year of poly? And she thought Nisa and I were seconday school students. HAHA! We were damn happy somehow. LOL! Eh, it always feels nice to be called younger than your age. Somehow ah. Lol!

Concerts are pretty cool though. Like everyone is super friendly and you can really just make friends. Haha! And yea, those two are 17/18? And they also thought we were around their age. Nope nope. We are just young looking undergrads. HAHA!

So YAYAYYYY Concert. Haha! Super lazy to type on so erm. Some of the nicer photos first taken.

The stage!

OMG I really like this shot though. It's towards the end of the concert already I think. And I think this was my best one out of all the photos I took. But okay lar, my main aim there wasn't to take photos.

Oh yes, weren't very in front actually. Like we were 5th row or something? Or even more. Then somehow, at the end of the concert, we were at the 3rd row. LOL!

YESS COLEY!! My favourite of them now. HAHA! I swear when he looked into the audience, it bloody hell feels like he is looking straight at you. HAHA! It's damn good feeling Heh. 

AND FREAK SIA WE WERE REALLY THAT CLOSE TO THE STAGE!! HAHA! I think this wasn't the zoom-in version. BUT WOW, freaking awesome I swear.

Ok, I lazy to type more but I swear this is really the best concert I went to. In terms of the atmosphere wise. The audience were so good. And their songs are those that everyone can sing along to. Though there are some of their older songs that I wasn't very sure of but I knew most of them so it's freaking shiok. I SUPER LIKE.

But mosh pit is really crazy tiring. Unless you don't want to stand all the way to the front. Lol! But ok lar, stand in front then really got the mood. But yes, I am old. LOL! So I think during Check Yes Juliet, I was really tired for awhile and I never jump all the way or sing all the way. And Check Yes Juliet was one of the last few songs so spare me ah. Lol! But it was really crazy but mad awesome. I really like this concert feeling. Haha! Ok I really like concerts in general. They are just really really awesome. Heh.

OHYA!! But there were 2 trees near us. One crazy annoying guy who just block Swap like mad. And another woman who took turns to block Swap, Weiying, Nisa and I. LOL! 'Cause I think Swap got it first, then she moved away then Weiying then Nisa then me. And freak she's damn bloody tall. I realise in mosh pits, being tall really helps a lot. HAHA! But yes, you can end up being super annoying to the other people around you though 'cause really tree sia. 

I think my favourite moment is when the entire audience sang with them. For Secret Valentine I think? How they just stop playing their instruments and hear us sing and we all sing damn well. HAHA! Well in that because everyone knew the lyrics to it. It really gives you the creeps.

['Cause if you jump
I will jump too
We will fall together
From the building's ledge
Never looking back at what we've done
We'll say it was love
'Cause I would die for you
On skyway avenue ]

Skyway Avenue - We The Kings

Ahhhh okay, they were really awesome and yes mad glad that I went for it. Though got the post-concert syndrome though. HAHA! But yes, still glad that I went for it.

AND OMG THE SCRIPT IS COMING AGAIN!!! CRAZY MAD EXCITED 'CAUSE LIKE FINALLYYYYYY. I kinda knew it will be anytime for them to come back soon 'cause they have a new album. HAHA! But freak so damn excited. Hehe.

disappointment

Probably the worst feeling you can ever feel. Especially when you are disappointed in yourself. I think it beats sadness or angry or what. Because disappointment is you know that you didn't give in your best shot. You know that this was not what you are capable of. That you didn' do the best that you can. Not to say that you know you can achieve great things, but you know very well that you didn't give in your all for it. That somewhere, you lack that passion in it. That you just aren't giving a better damn about that thing. When you should.

I used to think that I am those who will give in my best in everything I do. But lately, I don't see it. And freak it's disappointing to see myself be like that. It's like somehow, I just stop having passion in anything. That somehow, when you lost that passion, it's pretty hard to find it back. What's gone is gone. And it freaking sucks. And somehow, I don't know. It's just a really very strange feeling.

And yes, that disappointment in yourself. That you know that somehow, you decided to just accept fate and let life be. It freaking hell sucks. I know lately my posts have been nothing but pretty negative stuffs but I guess I just have to let this out. I really don't know where I'm going with this degree and everything currently. And it pretty much sucks because I just let myself to be thrown in this current and struggling to keep afloat and not doing anything to actually get out of this. It's like I just gave up. It's like I'm just going to continue struggling until I can see a shore. But how long will that be? How long more can I stay afloat until I see a shore? Because right now, that shore doesn't seem to be in sight. Not even close. And yes, I know I'm barely holding on to stay afloat. At any moment, I may drown so badly.

And then what happens? What happens if I drown? Who will come and save me? Am I waiting to be saved? Should I be waiting to be saved? Because that's not what I should be thinking. I should be thinking of how to swim forward. How to beat the freaking current and swim towards the shore. Not float along until I reach the shore. Because floating along doesn't guarantee anything. You can float along for ages and you still won't reach the shore anytime soon. And when a huge strong wave comes towards you, you won't be able to just float along. You will get beat down by the strong wave and drown.

That's not what I should be doing. I know that. I freaking hell know that. All these stuffs, I know it. I know that I should stop saying and freaking do it. I know that I've been saying this since the end of time. It's time and again. Always repeating all of this. Why the hell do I bother typing all these out when I know? When I freaking know that I am not doing anything to my life. That some part of me is slowly giving up. And I am not fighting back. Is that how I want my life to be? To be just going with the current. To just be merely floating and not getting anywhere and just float along until I see whichever shore that seems to be alright. And just settle for it.

No. That's not what I freaking want. My dreams, my goals. What the hell happened to them? How did life get to busy and I get so caught up with everything that I forget about all these aspirations and what not. My passion for things I love. Things that I truly can relate to and things that I know it's something that I want to do. What the hell happened? I have no freaking idea.

Yep, ok I am actually alright. It's just that rejections are hard to deal with. I thought I was good in handling rejections but I guess when the number starts to increase, your confidence starts to drop too. I know that the part of me that got me to be part of the exco in photog in J1 is still somewhere in me. Some part of me is still like that. Who still wants to fight to get what I truly want. Who is passionate about things she loves. Because yes, I know that out of all things that I happened to get in life, that was the one thing that I went through without any luck because I didn't know any of the previous exco well beforehand. That they accepted me into exco because they saw something in me. What they saw, I have no idea. I don't even know if I actually did a great job during my term. But I guess they did saw something. Because I remembered I felt freaking terrible after the interview because I thought I blew it so badly. And it was something that I really wanted.

Ok yes, I think I know what it is. It was something that I really wanted. Because I showed that I really wanted to be part of the exco in photog. I guess yea, that's it. I need to find something that I truly want. Heck, not just that actually. If I sign up for anything, even if it may not be something that I really want, I need to learn to love it still. Because yes, freaking life does not always let you get what you really want. You can't always get what you really want. First, you need to earn it. And show it. And even if you don't get it, you don't freaking give up. I'm sure there are other things that you won't mind. Take a chance. Don't say No until you try it.

But yes, I guess the sincerity in it. You may not like it initially, but grow to like. Because yes, of course you want to find something that you really want to get it. But you can't always get what you want. So you don't just sit there and sulk and cry. No. You find an alternative. Not a back up. Something that you know you can do too. Something you can grow to like and have passion in.

I think that's the thing about me. I can't lie. I can't pretend to like and have passion in something when I don't. Or rather, the passion isn't strong enough. Honestly, I really wondered how I got through to photog exco because yea, maybe at that moment, my passion for photography was pretty solid. Though that passion isn't as solid right now, I guess at that point in time, it was great. It's pretty interesting though I swear. If I could, I would really want to ask my seniors why did they choose me over the other candidates. What exactly did they see in me that was different? It's really strange. Not that I doubt my capabilities. Ok I'm slightly doubting. Lol! But not in the negative and all emotional way. It's just yea, sometimes you just question your abilities.

I guess that's why I'm disappointed in myself. Because it's not that I can't. It's that I'm not putting in the effort. Disappointment is really the worst kind of feeling because there is that alternative there. You know that you can do so much more. You know that you are not at your best. You haven't brought out the best side of you.

People always say that someone bring the best side out of them. But freak, why not you bring the best side out of yourself. I know that it may sound strange and feels like I'm just trying to weave this in. But somehow, I feel that all these self-doubting and stuffs, all these unsure feelings of myself and lack of freaking confidence, I feel that it has to do with my uncertainty with Christianity. I believe in God. I do. But you see, I'm not doing much. I'm not doing anything. And I have so many questions about Christianity that I haven't yet to explore them and try to find answers for them. There are so many questions. And especially when so many things happened lately, the questions keep increasing. And I guess I just need to find some time alone with God and really sit down and read the bible properly and I don't know. Do something.

What I really need to do is slowly get my life in check. I want to be able to say I am a Christian confidently when someone asks for my religion. Not to say about getting baptise or what, I mean my heart. I want to be sure that I truly believe in God and this faith. Yea, I guess it's something that takes time and only I can do it. To slowly figure out all these things. If you need help, ask for it. I'm pretty sure there are quite a lot of people out there who will help you with this. Take my own mother and sister for instance. They will be more than happy to help you answer these questions.

So yes, I need to stop beating myself up and remember that you are stronger than this. You are better than this. And you have good qualities in you that you probably know but forget sometimes. Not to be all ego. But yes, I ain't a terrible person. Not even close. Just need to slowly settle this messy life that I caused myself to be in. Self-discovery. HAHA! Ok, maybe not self-discovery but more of really just getting my life straight out. I know some people can work with their lives in a mess but I think I can't. As in I can for now because I still need to finish my semester well and I don't have that much time to sit and think. Even typing this blog post isn't something I should be doing actually. But yea, I need to really get everything cleared up because there is just no direction and I think I need to have some sort of direction in life. It doesn't have to be a very clear one but I need something at least.

Alright. I feel slightly better typing this out. And yes, I promise that the future posts will be better and stop being all negative about life and what not. Maybe I should just post about all the trips and stuffs that I have yet to post about instead of all these random rants and breakdowns and questioning about life.

close your eyes and breathe

I realise I really miss my old friends. How old friends are really gold. How you are just so mad comfortable with them and can talk to them for hours and hours and still having a lot of talk about. How the conversations are endless. And how you can be silly and nonsense with them. Do stupid things and laugh like mad. And not caring a damn about what they think because they have seen and know you enough to know those different sides of you. And despite seeing all those different sides of you, they still love you and embrace you all the same. And are still freaking here for you. How they are really the people you are so crazy comfortable with.

I really miss it. I'm not saying that with my uni friends I'm not being myself. It's not just as comfortable I guess? There is still something different. Ok ah, some uni friends I'm quite comfortable with them also. How I know I can really just say whatever I want to and all that. But yea, old friends are really just comfort. It's easy with them. Haha!

And how it's really not enough to just see them once. Like I will really miss them after meeting them. Those strange kind. Haha! They are just comforting I guess? But yes yes, uni really isn't that bad in terms of friends. I have my old friends with me in uni too and pretty great new friends also.

But yea, sometimes you just miss those few familiar faces. I have no idea how in the past, we can just meet up a few times in a year and not feel sad or what. Lol! It's very strange. Like now I really legit miss my friends. Ever since uni started I think? It's very strange. Haha! Uni has that effect ah. That's why, I would really love it if everyone comes to SMU. Then I can just randomly bump into people I genuinely love a lot and freak happy to see.

I guess this makes me appreciate them more so it's not a bad thing. Just that yea, when you do see them and meet them, you really treasure that time with them and time just past so damn quickly when you are with them. It's amazing ah. Haha!

And yes, really crazy blessed that I have these people who are really going to be there for me. Like when I think about them, I'll remember that yes, I am not alone in this. That I have quite a few people rooting for me and will really catch me when I fall and if I fall. It's pretty comforting to remember that. So yes, I need to remember that more and keep calm and carry on.

And my family. I haven't talk to my sister for 2 days? 'Cause I reached home when she was asleep and either she left house before I woke up or I left house before she woke up. It's quite crazy. But yes, I actually miss my sister when she is here in Singapore with me. And okay, I miss her too when she was in US also. But then again, that was because she was in US. And my mum and my dad. I really truly hate the fact that as I grow older, they are growing older too. You see, having young looking parents, I tend to forget that they are getting older too. And it really sucks when I remember that yes, they are getting older too. And how as you get older, in terms of those kind of older, it will start to get different. And it just kinda sucks.

For us, we complain about getting older but we are actually just freaking hell entering a crucial point of our lives. For the next 10-20 years of my life from now on, these 10-20 years are the peak of my life. I would think so. It's going to be crazy and one hell of a ride. But I really hope it will be a good ride. I know it won't be smooth sailing all the way but I'm sure there will be the good days too. I'm excited but scared at the same time.

And freak, I really really hope that some things will still stay awesome. I guess growing together with my friends. How yea, as we grow older, we are still the same in the friendship? But yea, I'm sure it will all be alright. I mean yea, those that truly matters will stay and continue to matter but those that don't, it's cool too.

And wow, I realise my camera is really sitting in my dry cabinet and rotting. December December. I will promise to take you out more and show you to the world. There is still something about taking photos that I really enjoy. And being the one behind the lens. It honestly feels great. I think it's something that only photographers can really understand. Lol! How holding the camera feels great, even if you aren't in the picture. Though okay, recently I have been in front of the camera more and I like that too. Haha! No matter what, photos are still awesome. Like it's not because you want to look nice or what but you just want to be brought back to that memory once again when you look at the photos. The memories. That's why I really love photos. There is just something about them. Still life. And how yea, one picture can speak so much about it. It's pretty amazing.

SO YES. I'll promise myself to really get that camera out. It's not supposed to be sitting at home and it's supposed to be out exploring. But yes wow, money. Money is another thing too. Savings are pretty important so yees, I'm trying my best to cut my spendings though it can be slightly tricky at times.

But yes, anyway, I typed a nicer post on my phone just now but my battery died and it didn't save so too bad. Haha! And this, I'm typing with eyes half closed. Alright, time to stop.

Postivity. I am trying. Because in this univeristy life, it's freaking hard to stay positive.

And breathe. You need to breathe to stay alive. Take deep breaths. Catch your freaking breath. And remember that you are not the only one facing all these issues. Yes, they may be facing different issues from you, but it doesn't mean they don't have other issues as well. You aren't freaking alone. And stop thinking that you are the only one facing all these stuffs because you are not.

Everyone has issues. You deal with them. Don't think that you are alone because you are not. And smile for goodness sake. Everyone is saying you look horrible. And I think you really do, Yi Fang.

Stop being lost. Stop complaing. Stop thinking that you have so many things to do because everyone has so many things to do. Stop stressing because it doesn't get anything done. Start doing. Actions speak so much louder. And I don't know. Get your freaking life in check. Ever since last year, your life had been a freaking mess. You really ought to start clearing it up. Stop wasting time on stuffs that don't matter.

And yes, you are surrounded by so many people who care and love you and will definitely help you. Don't give up. You held on so long in the first place. And this sem, you promise yourself to make your grades better. Do it. Prove that you actually make it. That you aren't that horrible.

And I guess, I really miss people. I don't know. The past few weeks had just been crazy and a blur. This semester kinda hasn't been that great. But it's not over. And I know there are a lot more shit and nonsense to do. It's pretty crazy but yes, the key is to just keep going forward.

And remember that you are better than what you think you are. Like freak sia, stop thinking that you can't do it. And start believing that you are better than that. That you can do so much more. That you are capable of great things. Don't let other's talents make you feel inferior. Because yes, they may be really very good, but that doesn't mean that you are not. Yes, you may not be better than them but you are good in your own ways too. Stop degrading yourself and believe that yes, you can make it too. It's hard to remember this when you are surrounded by people who are so freaking smart. But you really aren't that bad yourself. Remember that you are actually here in university. You can't be that bad. And honestly, I know I can make it. It's really whether I want to or not. Put in more freaking effort. If you want to procastinate somemore, or be lazy, then why are you in uni?

we aren't the only ones growing older

So this whole concept of death. Ageing mostly actually. How as we grow older, we tend to forget that the people around us are growing old too. And that as they grow older, they are also nearer to the finishing line. To when they go on to the next phase of their life. Yes, I believe that we only have one life to live. So we should live it well. But I also believe that after we die, where we will end up in, it matters. For me, I do believe that after we die, we will go to this place where everyone you love is with you. Heaven. My ideal heaven is with God, Jesus and everyone I love on earth.

I guess, I can't really say much about afterlife too 'cause I'm still in the midst of understanding this whole concept. I still can't exactly wrap my head around it. Because afterlife kinda contradicts my believe of having only one life to live. Because yea, if there is afterlife, then that means we live for eternally. After we die, we are still alive? I guess it's more of we will be in a place where there is not troubles. Where you are just relieved of all the unhappiness and negativity on earth. Where you are with your loved ones. And you look over the ones who are still living on earth. I guess that's what it means? I guess yea, I have to read up and understand more about this though. As in yea, because right now, because we are living and very much alive in this world, afterlife is just a pretty distance concept. It's something that we will only know when we stop living this life. Stop breathing.

And I don't know. Value of a person. We tend to take many people and things for granted while they are still there. It's something in humans that is very hard to just get rid of. Because yea, life gets busy to the point where you forget what's truly important. With all the crazy deadlines and stuffs. And how you will think that there is always tomorrow. That you can go visit someone another day. Talk to them another time because yea, there is always tomorrow.

But yea, what if tomorrow cease to exist? Honestly, I have a lot of questions about all these now. But yea, it's not something that I should really be occupied with now. Because yes, ten thousand things to do with deadlines and everything. It's pretty crazy. But I guess yea, I just have to get started and I will get the hang of it. I'm sure. Have to ah.

And I guess, as we live this life, just do the very best that you. Love the people around you. Treasure them like crazy. Those who matter you will know it from your heart. Those who don't, you will also know it and slowly they will stop being important in your life. It's not about cutting them out of your life, but some people are really not worth it? Because yes, you make time for people who are worth it. People who meant something. It's all very strange now. As in confusing. But I guess if you think about it, ultimately, in all forms of relationships, it works both ways. If you are the only person caring, if you are the only person giving a damn, then there isn't any point in holding on to this relationship. Because yea, it works both ways. And I don't know. It's not about meeting up often also. It's about how you just know from your heart. Like deep down. You know when you matter to someone and when someone matters to you. I guess it's something that can't be quantified. It's all from the heart. It's not something you need to see or what. It's just something you know. Like yes, this person is someone I care about. And I know that person also cares about me. No matter how busy life gets, you know that you will always want the best for this person and look out for them. And yes, they feel that about you too. Reciprocate. Something that you just know.

And yes, always remember that you aren't the only one getting older. We always get to caught up in the fact that we are growing older and whine and complain about it that we forget that hey, our parents are growing older as the year goes by too, our grandparents, our aunts and uncles, our siblings, our cousins, our friends. Ok friends, technically, most of your friends will be around your age so it isn't really a major issue. It's more of parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles I guess? 'Cause yea, them growing older means them nearing death. To put it bluntly.

Yea, everyone will die someday. It's the fact of life. There isn't any other way to sugar coat it. But I guess as we live this life, remember to live it well. Appreciate and treasure the people around you. Show you freaking appreciation for them because yes, life is freaking short and you really won't know what will happen next. And yes, do the very best that you can in all that you are doing. As long as you do your best, you won't have any regrets. It's not about being the best or being number one and all that. It's really about doing to your best capabilities. Putting effort into everything that matters. Not just studies. Your relationship with people around you.

And I don't know, I guess just living a good and happy and fulfilling life. If you aren't happy about doing something, find the joy in it and do it to your very best. I'm sure that no matter what you do, there will be things about it that can make you enjoy it. No point doing it unwillingly because it just makes you sad and unmotivated. Don't just do stuffs because of responsibilities. As in of course, you cannot just give up and throw in the towel just because you are unhappy doing them. When you take up responsibilities, you go all the way through with it. And do it to your best. But also enjoy the process of it. I'm sure there will be things that make all of it worthwhile and happy for. Constantly remind yourself that and I'm sure you will be alright. If not, rely on your family and friends for support and help and happiness. Use their energy and encouragement when you ran out of it. Complain, rant. Just whatever because it's crazy important to let it out of your system. Suppressing stuffs in your brain and all is freaking unhealthy.

I guess yea, this whole death thing is just making me think a lot about living and death. It all feels really strange. And I don't know. I guess foreign is the word since death is not something I know of. But no matter what, I wish with all my heart that death is a good thing. That the person is in a much happier place and with people who he love. And yes, looking over all of us here on earth and making sure we are alright. Guardian angel.

And I'm quite sure I have a lot of typos and spelling errors and grammar errors and structure errors and repetitive like mad. But my eyes are half closed now so I'm not going to care.

And this numb feeling towards death. I don't like it. Because yes, I don't know. I really hate how busy life is that you can't really exactly sit down and think properly. Or rather for someone who needs sometime to think about stuffs like these properly. How you just get thrown along with the wave of life and just get tossed along, struggling to keep afloat. It's pretty tiring. And giving up isn't an option. Well, it is but it's not something I want to do. I really have ten thousand thoughts all over the place I realise. I'm just crazy rambling. So yes yes, I should stop and start work.

strong

[ I'm sorry if I say, "I need you."
But I don't care,
I'm not scared of love.
'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker.
Is that so wrong?
Is it so wrong
That you make me strong? ]

Strong - One Direction

Somehow, this song lasted me through those few days at the funeral wake. Haha! It's a very strange song to get stuck in my head but I guess it's more of the title that was holding me through those few days. Strong. 

To be strong isn't easy. Having to hold back because you don't want be all crying and emotional in front of your family. Because you need to be strong for your grandmother and mum and everyone else basically. And how you should be happy for your grandfather because you know that he is in a much happier place now. 

It's hard but it's not impossible. And I swear family support is the best. How all of us came together and held on to each other for support. Helping out as much as we can amidst all our very busy lives. And how we know that yes, we really have each other and that we need to stay strong because Gong Gong will want us to stay strong and take good care of Po Po.

And yes, I really love my friends who have been crazy supportive and know the right words to say and really just there for me and know that I will be alright. And for just listening. I guess more of having faith in me and knowing that no matter what, Yi Fang will be okay and she will talk to us if she needs to. I guess yea, to know that these people will always be there for you if you need them. And yea, I really cannot be more thankful. 

I miss so many of them though. Super long since I saw most of them. Because university is pretty much not fun mostly. And time constraints and all that. 

But you see, I realise the thing with time, yes, it's short. We only have 24 hours a day. Many people to spend time with. But I guess it's not the quantity of time but the quality. You can just meet for a mere half an hour but it can be a very good half an hour and that's more than enough. Accompany your parents for dinner, going to your grandparents' house. Everything counts. What you do and what you say and they know how much you love them through your actions. You don't have to say that you care about them or tell them you love them always because they know. They can see from your actions. You can feel it from your heart. 

Maybe that's why I never have the habit of expressing love for anyone. Except on special occasion. And also when it's sarcasm with a little bit of truth. Haha! But yes, I really do love all these very important people in my life. People who have faith and believe in me and always have my back no matter what. You guys are pretty awesome. It really gives me the strength to carry on. 

Finally recess week to catch my breath for awhile. But yea, I need to start studying and working hard too. Even though it's recess week 'cause yea, there are still many many things to do. And just a few more week to the end of year 2 sem 1. Might as well make the very best out of it. Even if it means to be more busy and tired and what not. 

BUT, I still want to see my lovely comfy humans so please meet me k. Tried to meet up with many people this weekend but somehow everyone isn't free. But in a way it's good also 'cause I needed some downtime alone too. But yes, meet up soon please. And yes, I am happy that I'll be seeing some of them soon this Friday~ Hehe. Can't wait. =)

Strength from many people, thank you giving me your strength to pull through the past two weeks. The past 2 weeks had been pretty horrible but I think I've reached the peak of horrible week so nothing can really bring me down anymore 'cause I survived those 2 weeks. But yes, there are still many things to do so I still need to gather more strengths and pull through all the way until finals. And yes, I know I can do this. 

Thank You God for blessing me with so many incredible people in my life. My family and friends. Thank You.