we aren't the only ones growing older

So this whole concept of death. Ageing mostly actually. How as we grow older, we tend to forget that the people around us are growing old too. And that as they grow older, they are also nearer to the finishing line. To when they go on to the next phase of their life. Yes, I believe that we only have one life to live. So we should live it well. But I also believe that after we die, where we will end up in, it matters. For me, I do believe that after we die, we will go to this place where everyone you love is with you. Heaven. My ideal heaven is with God, Jesus and everyone I love on earth.

I guess, I can't really say much about afterlife too 'cause I'm still in the midst of understanding this whole concept. I still can't exactly wrap my head around it. Because afterlife kinda contradicts my believe of having only one life to live. Because yea, if there is afterlife, then that means we live for eternally. After we die, we are still alive? I guess it's more of we will be in a place where there is not troubles. Where you are just relieved of all the unhappiness and negativity on earth. Where you are with your loved ones. And you look over the ones who are still living on earth. I guess that's what it means? I guess yea, I have to read up and understand more about this though. As in yea, because right now, because we are living and very much alive in this world, afterlife is just a pretty distance concept. It's something that we will only know when we stop living this life. Stop breathing.

And I don't know. Value of a person. We tend to take many people and things for granted while they are still there. It's something in humans that is very hard to just get rid of. Because yea, life gets busy to the point where you forget what's truly important. With all the crazy deadlines and stuffs. And how you will think that there is always tomorrow. That you can go visit someone another day. Talk to them another time because yea, there is always tomorrow.

But yea, what if tomorrow cease to exist? Honestly, I have a lot of questions about all these now. But yea, it's not something that I should really be occupied with now. Because yes, ten thousand things to do with deadlines and everything. It's pretty crazy. But I guess yea, I just have to get started and I will get the hang of it. I'm sure. Have to ah.

And I guess, as we live this life, just do the very best that you. Love the people around you. Treasure them like crazy. Those who matter you will know it from your heart. Those who don't, you will also know it and slowly they will stop being important in your life. It's not about cutting them out of your life, but some people are really not worth it? Because yes, you make time for people who are worth it. People who meant something. It's all very strange now. As in confusing. But I guess if you think about it, ultimately, in all forms of relationships, it works both ways. If you are the only person caring, if you are the only person giving a damn, then there isn't any point in holding on to this relationship. Because yea, it works both ways. And I don't know. It's not about meeting up often also. It's about how you just know from your heart. Like deep down. You know when you matter to someone and when someone matters to you. I guess it's something that can't be quantified. It's all from the heart. It's not something you need to see or what. It's just something you know. Like yes, this person is someone I care about. And I know that person also cares about me. No matter how busy life gets, you know that you will always want the best for this person and look out for them. And yes, they feel that about you too. Reciprocate. Something that you just know.

And yes, always remember that you aren't the only one getting older. We always get to caught up in the fact that we are growing older and whine and complain about it that we forget that hey, our parents are growing older as the year goes by too, our grandparents, our aunts and uncles, our siblings, our cousins, our friends. Ok friends, technically, most of your friends will be around your age so it isn't really a major issue. It's more of parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles I guess? 'Cause yea, them growing older means them nearing death. To put it bluntly.

Yea, everyone will die someday. It's the fact of life. There isn't any other way to sugar coat it. But I guess as we live this life, remember to live it well. Appreciate and treasure the people around you. Show you freaking appreciation for them because yes, life is freaking short and you really won't know what will happen next. And yes, do the very best that you can in all that you are doing. As long as you do your best, you won't have any regrets. It's not about being the best or being number one and all that. It's really about doing to your best capabilities. Putting effort into everything that matters. Not just studies. Your relationship with people around you.

And I don't know, I guess just living a good and happy and fulfilling life. If you aren't happy about doing something, find the joy in it and do it to your very best. I'm sure that no matter what you do, there will be things about it that can make you enjoy it. No point doing it unwillingly because it just makes you sad and unmotivated. Don't just do stuffs because of responsibilities. As in of course, you cannot just give up and throw in the towel just because you are unhappy doing them. When you take up responsibilities, you go all the way through with it. And do it to your best. But also enjoy the process of it. I'm sure there will be things that make all of it worthwhile and happy for. Constantly remind yourself that and I'm sure you will be alright. If not, rely on your family and friends for support and help and happiness. Use their energy and encouragement when you ran out of it. Complain, rant. Just whatever because it's crazy important to let it out of your system. Suppressing stuffs in your brain and all is freaking unhealthy.

I guess yea, this whole death thing is just making me think a lot about living and death. It all feels really strange. And I don't know. I guess foreign is the word since death is not something I know of. But no matter what, I wish with all my heart that death is a good thing. That the person is in a much happier place and with people who he love. And yes, looking over all of us here on earth and making sure we are alright. Guardian angel.

And I'm quite sure I have a lot of typos and spelling errors and grammar errors and structure errors and repetitive like mad. But my eyes are half closed now so I'm not going to care.

And this numb feeling towards death. I don't like it. Because yes, I don't know. I really hate how busy life is that you can't really exactly sit down and think properly. Or rather for someone who needs sometime to think about stuffs like these properly. How you just get thrown along with the wave of life and just get tossed along, struggling to keep afloat. It's pretty tiring. And giving up isn't an option. Well, it is but it's not something I want to do. I really have ten thousand thoughts all over the place I realise. I'm just crazy rambling. So yes yes, I should stop and start work.