don't waste another day

[ So open up your heart, help me understand
Please tell me who you are
So I can show you who I am

You're just standing by
You're just wasting time
Why don't you just tell me the truth
About me and you
And as the time goes by
I hope you realize
If you ask me to
I just might be with you ]

Stop Standing There - Avril Lavigne

Aha, super long since I've blogged. I've got a million of things to say. Many things happened since I last blogged but I'll type those down again someday. =D Maybe I'll mention some stuffs briefly. I realise that I missed my chance. I realise that I usually don't take risks. But thinking about it, I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe I didn't miss my chance but it just wasn't supposed to go that way. Yet sometimes you really can't help thinking what may happen. What could have been. But I know there is no point to it now 'cause you realise that it's really just gone? And you know that somehow, you will be alright. Somehow, you will get through all these, coming out stronger.

So yes, even though I'm alright with it now, I think that we should take a chance always. And not hesitate so much. Take risks. Be brave and just do it. Don't ponder and think too much sometimes. Life is about living and if you always take the safer road, always follow the straight path in front of you and not make any turns or get off the straight path, you will not get anywhere. Take chances. Yes, stop standing there. Move forward. Don't get struck in the position because you won't get anywhere.

And don't walk in a completely straight route. Someone once told me that if we always walk in a straight route, we'll end up circling around and return back to where we first started. I don't know how true is that but it sort of makes sense. Life is about taking chances, being brave, and fight for something worthwhile; giving it a shot before it is too late. We must learn to break away from the norm sometimes, we should be daring and not be scared.

Change your path sometimes. Make life worth living and just be brave and take a chance. Things may turned out to be more perfect than you ever think it may be. Yes, being on a straight path makes you feel safe. But what is safe may not be what is always great for your life.

Yet ultimately, it all depends on fate. But don't always rely on fate. 'cause it will make your decisions hay-wired. Decided firmly and stay firm to the decision made. Don't waver. At the end of the day, even if things may not go smoothly, you will be okay because you have your family and friends with you. You know that they've got your back. So whatever happens, they will always be around.

Friendship is about mutual support for each other. When one person outweighs the balance, I don't know how the friendship may become. It's complicated but I guess I won't give up. I shouldn't and I think after thinking about it for so many days, I think yea, I don't know if holding on to this friendship is a right choice, I don't know if I'll get even more tired, but I guess the only right thing to do now is suck it up and just be there for the friend even if it's not reciprocal. At least I know who I can truly rely on in times of need.

And yes, I miss super lot of pple. Hopefully, I can find some time to meet them 'cause I really want to talk to them. But yes yes, I know that right now, I must and should be focusing on studying. Mid years is coming and it CANNOT be a repeat of terms. I won't let that happen.

So yes, I'm not going to waste another day!! Hopefully. Sigh. I really lack self-discipline at times but I think I'm getting better? I really need to have the strong will to carry on this race, this fight. And once it's over, I want to have a feeling that all these running, all these fighting, is worth it. That at the end of the day, I complete the race to my very best abilities and will be satisfied with the outcome.

The future currently seems a bit blur. I'm having second thoughts about what kind of future I really want. I need to find a day to think properly of what I want to do in the future. As of now, I shall focus on doing well for my 'A' levels and everything else will fall in place somehow. I know it will.

Aha, a bunch of us are going to annoy someone at this late hour on the phone soon. =D Gah, I seriously love these people. They are just awesome beyond words. It's the kind of friendship no one else but us can understand. =)