Feel Again - OneRepublic

[ It's been a long time coming since I've seen your face
I've been everywhere and back trying to replace
Everything that I've had till my feet went numb
Praying like a fool that's been on the run
Heart still beating but it's not working
It's like a million dollar phone that you just can't ring
I reach out trying to love but I feel nothing
Yeah, my heart is numb ]

Feel Again - OneRepublic

So Prelims ended. Lol! Yep, I'm not super duper happy 'cause I know I really need to work super hard from now on. This prelims really scared me like shit. Just that the last paper I kinda heck it already. It's bad 'cause I hecked it for a lot of papers. Maybe because GP kinda sucked for me and somehow, it just snowballed. Wake up, Yifang. You really need to work extremely hard from now on.

The future, I'm kinda scared. The path I'm going to take. What I should do. My dream, I really want to achieve it. It's something I want since primary 5. Maybe that was before I realise how hard it is. How foolish my thinking is. Ok, it's not foolish but it's really not realistic. I kinda know the unrealistic part, my friends did say to me and stuffs too. But somehow, it didn't really sink in to me until this year. Until I realise how this dream, if I want to achieve it, I really need to do a lot more. And frankly speaking, I'm not doing even enough. It's quite scary when something you have been dreaming about for close to 7years, something that you were aiming at for so long, just come crashing down, and there is just nothing left. No aim, no direction, just a blur. I know I still want it. I still want to be able to take photos that mattered, I still want to be able to take photos that show emotions, I still want to be able to take photos of people that I love. Maybe, I just like to take photos of people I love? Somehow, I dunno. I'm confused I guess? It's something I really need to figure out after A levels.

As of right now, A levels shall just be my focus. Yes, get my grades, and we'll see. And take the post A levels break to really think through what do you want to do in the future. Find that out. And just try out different things. Don't be biased against certain jobs 'cause yes, you need to try before you know whether you can do it and you may actually come to like it.

Alright, let's stop here. I'm feeling tired with all these thinking. Lol! It's really quite draining thinking about the future and stuffs. And seriously, we don't know what the future holds. So many things can change and you just need to have faith that everything will turn out alright in the end. Just have faith and believe.

I'm posting this photo 'cause it's funny. HAHA! I didn't realise it until recently when I was scrolling through the photos in my phone and I realise this photo is just funny lar. Ok, it's not damn funny and it's actually kinda bad. LOL! But they are my friends and they are self-aware too~ HAHA! And ahh I really want to do such stuffs like going to the railway and take photos again. LOL! The funny random shit that we always do. NEVER MIND! Soon soon! =D I'm really glad that these really important people live near me too. Heh. The random meet ups and stuffs.

And my cousins!!!! Wah, miss them like mad though I just saw them on last last Sunday. Lol! My happy pills~ The funny stuffs they do never fails to crack me up. I shall post the photos here next time. They are in my phone. Haha!

And yes, I need to restart taking photos. It's quite sad that I really stop spamming photos. Lol. Ok, maybe my friends are thankful for it but it's not something you shd be happy abt 'cause one day, you will realise that you suddenly don't have photos anymore and wonder why and come to realise the importance of having me around to spam photos. =D HAHA! Okok, this is complete self-delusion but whatever. And I know some friends genuinely hate me taking photos and stuffs. Yes, they happen to be my friends. How annoying right? Tsk. But yep, I'm glad that some other friends really still appreciate me for taking photos and stuffs. Haha! But yea lar, my skills really aren't good so yep! I will brush up and improve! I almost wanted to go out to take photos today 'cause the weather was quite nice. Lol! But heh, I ended up watching my show. I guess some things can wait I hope?

And someday, I will feel again. For everything. Someday you will remember those feelings again. You haven't lose them yet so don't worry so much.