white haired gorilla =D

 

HAHA! Our super belated birthday surprise for Sweden. =D We had it on the day of the guitar concert! It was supposed to be a way nicer plan but the weather sucked so oh well. But yea!! Sweden was happy. Haha! We made that book thing for him! Rather last minute but I cut the letters a few days before his actual birthday! We should have rushed it out lor. But nevermind! The thought that counts. =D 

 

 And the cake that Feli made!! Haha! They were all trying to figure out what the letters were. Damn lousy. But yep! Feli's cake was quite nice! A bit sweet but really not bad lar. Good job! Haha!

Gah. I really miss Agents. Really man. They are ridiculous people but they are hell of an important to my life. Need to meet up with them soon! Somehow, I really can't get sick of meeting up with them. Just that the schedule all clash. Actually, it's just Junyuan. Haha! Who tell him so busy with dance. Tsk tsk. But okok, we all have our busy periods. I miss Sakea-ing with them and badminton! We should do that this June hols! Study and play. =D

Ya!! We actually did meet up to do homework during sec 4 June hols and they were rather successful!  So we can one. Haha! And you know, I think I forgive to easily, but maybe it's 'cause yea, the friendship matters more to me and I just know that I don't want things to be like how it is now. It will be just too weird. I can never silent treatment a person for long 'cause yes, I want to talk. Lol. Sounds funny but yea. Talking is good. =D

And lol. I don't know why but I'm trying to match us to Avengers. HAHA! Ok wait ar, there's Hulk, Captain America, Iron Man and Thor. And Nick Furry. Haha! Junyuan shall be Hulk 'cause he's angry. =D I want to be Nick Furry 'cause he was the one that gathers them all. Wahahahaha. Iron Man shall be Sweden 'cause he knows a lot of all those stuffs and can talk a lot of weird nonsense. Feli can be Captain America 'cause he's quite clueless and old-dated like Feli. =D Brendan can be Thor 'cause Thor is just weird. HAHA! Ok, clearly I'm getting tired 'cause all these nonsense actually came out. Yep, they will kill me when they see this unless they like what they are, which I doubt it. But it's true what! It all matches well. Haha!

But yes!! The Avengers is good. =D I want to watch Iron Man, Thor and Hulk! I've watch Captain America so it's ok. But I don't mind rewatching. =D And even if the movie wasn't that good, watching so many good looking guys on screen is good enough. Haha! Sigh, ok, I think I should sleep now.

cool calm collected~

 

Sharon's birthday on 16th May!! The awesome board that we made for her! They came over to my house to make the thing and it's really damn cool! You have to melt the wax crayon with a hairdyer. It's damn cool lar!! We were super excited by it. =D 

The whole process is damn cool!! And quite fast too. We were damn fascinated by it. Haha! 

So yes! Her actual birthday! The surprise was quite fail 'cause she is observant. =( So she kinda figured out what we were doing. Ok, maybe I kinda suck too. Haha! But yep! She was happy ba! =D The board is nice! Haha! With our letters of course. Joyce baked the cake as well. Damn cool. =D

 

Haha! We actually blindfolded her. Quite funny lar.

 

And we took the Pandora Polaroid film! It's super pretty!! The borders damn nice and all. I like! Haha!

Hope she had an awesome birthday with us that day!! Though our surprises all fail. Haha! Never mind! Next time must surprise her before or after her birthday and not on her birthday so she won't expect anything. =D

small little girl. =D

 

 YL's birthday on 27th April! We didn't celebrate much for her on her actual birthday 'cause we had annoying geog test that day. But there was cake! Haha! She is damn awesome 'cause she's damn blur and clueless. Though ok, she kinda found out a little bit of stuffs 'cause of my notebook. Sigh. I really need to stop showing people stuffs and keep everything to myself. Lol! 

But oh well, she was still surprised by the cake. I hope? Haha! But yep! Our real present is below!!

 Box full of junk food~! Haha! We put in 18 of her favourite snacks inside with our letters! =D Though some snacks aren't really her most favourite but not bad! She managed to finish them. Haha! But we took some too. =D 

And wah!! The scariest thing is that we wanted to get her a notebook at first. And it was a notebook I saw at Popular during the weekends and on Monday, she told us she just bought this notebook from Popular and it's the exact same notebook. Freaky lar!!! But it shows that I know her taste. Haha! Good friend. =D 

Anyway, so yep! The box is pretty~! Haha! And the food inside. =D We went to eat at Fushionopolis after that and went mad at Starbucks too. Haha! YEA!! Hope YL did have a great birthday with us. =D

Super like this group photo! =D

Ohya! And we bought a tumblr for her too! And I love the words on her tumblr. You Ungrateful Kid Lovely Irritating Natural Goddess~ HAHA! We the best. =D

And HAHA! Our Polaroid film together. =D

I didn't really like it at first 'cause I really look damn retarded but it's somehow very us so oh well~ At least I can see my eyes here. Haha! Happy 18th YL! =DDD

Ahahahahaha, I shall update my life from million years ago. Today was the end of terms! And the start of June Hols. A very busy one in fact. All the extra lessons all. Sigh. But yes, it's for our own good. Just that it still sucks. =\ I want to meet so many people this holidays but I doubt it will be possible. Quite sian.

Met up with these people on 14th April! Yes, it's damn long ago. Haha! Miss them super lot already. I mean yea, last time I met them was Guitar Concert but we didn't really get to hang out for long. June hols!! Must meet up. =D Just talked to them on LINE and it's damn funny. =D

Went to NJ's carnival on 21st April 'cause of this girl here. Tsk tsk. I was the only supporter! Haha! Should have grab more people to go with me. Feli was supposed to go with me but she had phone issues. Lol! So I went there alone. But yep, lucky Sijia and Ian could entertain me. =D Super long since I last met them!! And it's always nice to meet them 'cause they are ever so the same retarded people. =)

 

Had dinner with Jeslyn, Benson, Weiqiang and Ms Lim on 22nd April, Sunday! It was quite a pleasant dinner 'cause super long since I met up with the rest except Jeslyn. The guys were going army so they called us out for dinner before they enlist. Quite thoughtful of them. Haha!

27th April is a short girl's birthday~ Haha! Shall talk more in another post.

Meet up with the troublsome Weiying and Faeqa on 27th April! Haha! Okok, they both came all the way to Fushionopolis just to have lunch with me. =D yayyyy I have cool friends. Haha! But yea lar, of course they complained all. Haha! And we had the free Starbucks~ I just love how they made me queue for them while they sat there and talk. Tsk. They are always the best lar. =D

Had to go back to school on 28th April for GP Mock exam! Sort of celebrated YL's birthday after that too. =D Ohya! Weiying, Faeqa and I called Kenneth for his birthday too. WE ARE SO NICE! Haha! Ok, we kinda like to annoy pple with that too. More people we supposed to call but they slept. And this boy. He is the best lar. He slept while on the phone with us. Awesome right? Ungrateful much. But ok lar, I think he was secretly happy that got such lame pple doing stuffs like that for his birthday. =D 

Had newspaper collection CIP on 29th April! Woke up super early in the morning to travel to Jurong Point for it! Super tiring but I guess it was quite worth it! So yay! Not bad. Haha!

3rd May is my sister's 21st birthday! Though didn't really celebrate much for her but I did stuffs for her hor! Nothing fanciful though. Haha! I just wrote a super duper long letter for her along with a map things. Hope she liked it! =D

Guitar concert on 6th May! The photos weren't that great 'cause it was rushed since they only had a few minutes to take photos with us. Lol! But yep! Their concert was good! Better than last year's one. And it was at Esplanade! Not that the place had a lot of difference but yep! The songs all not bad! =D

Oh!! I watched The Avengers on that day of the guitar concert too! I watched the movie twice actually. Haha! But it's good! =D Shall talk more about it in another post. =D

Aft that life was pretty much the same old. Lol! Since mid year exams were coming. Sharon's birthday on 16th May! Which I will say in another post as well.

Went to support netball on 18th May! It was at Republic Poly and against Hwa Chong! We went to support last year also! And it was against HCJC and at RP also. Haha! So cool. =D And of course, our netball girls won. Haha! They are really damn pro!

And yes! Mid year exams!! My exams only lasted 2 days 'cause I only had 3 papers since we are tested on our H2s this time round and they happen to put Math and Geog on the same day. I doubt I'll do well. But I guess yea, I'm really looking long term at A levels instead. =\ And yes! June hols! I'll make good full use of it. To rest, to relax, but also to catch up and get my head in the game. Quite glad that a lot of my friends have their mid years after so I can mug with them during June hols as well. =D

it's not hard.

Trust. Have you got any? You know how I felt previously, you know the disappointment, the anger. So why did you do this? What are you scared of? What do we mean to you? I really wonder why I care so much sometimes. Is it even worth it?

Have you have the feeling that you are losing friends slowly? That as you grow older, somehow, things just change, people drift away, relationships between people get strained. But how despite having such feelings sometimes, you also realise how some friendships will just stay forever, and yes, I'm freaking thankful for them.

I need to meet up with people who don't take me for granted. Who can tolerate my nonsense and be nonsensical with me too. People who are honest, true and sincere. Thankyou, for being in my life. For letting me know that come what may, you guys will always be there. This kind of friendship where it's just stuck. That despite the hell of a hectic and busy life all of us have, we know that we are still on each other's minds always.

letting go

 

Letting go. It's hard. But sometimes, we really have no choice. And if we don't let go, we can never move forward and we will never find out what wonderful things that may come our way if we have move forward earlier. Things don't always go according to plan. Sometimes life is just well, a surprise. We can never know what to expect and if we always hold on to what we could not have, we'll never know what awaits us. 

It's hard. I know it's hard. But sometimes we just have to learn how to let go because it's not for us to hold on. True, letting go makes you realise how many things you may be losing. But if you keep trying to hold on whatever remains of it, you will never be happy. Happiness becomes something out of reach. And you gain nothing from it. So why hold on when you know it's time to let go? 

There are many things in my life thus far that I'm beginning to realise I should let go. Somethings are just not within my reach and why suffer so much when by letting go, things will be easier, and you may find things that are more worthy to hold on to. 

Letting go of memories, of photos, of videos, of everything. That's hard. That's really hard. I'm still trying to learn how to. But I realise that yes everything happens for a reason. When you lost something you can't replace. Maybe God wants you to create new and even better and greater memories. And the thing is, you won't just forget the past memories even if the photos are lost. If the memories are worth the keep, you will remember it even without photos and all. Yes, photos means hell lot to me. It's me after all. But I can't do anything about it once it's gone. Technology, sometimes, fails us when we rely on it too much. 

It sucks of course. But I know that there really is no point holding on. What matters most is that the people are still around. New photos can be created again. Though it may not be the same, but at least the people in the photos are still around. True, not all are around but what matters is that they are still in your heart. And they always will be. I guess the part about letting go isn't giving up, but finding happiness in the past, present and future? Letting go is allowing greater things to come in. 

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for you.

- Joseph Campbell 

Time to let go to let better ones come. It's not easy but it's worth the shot because only by letting go, you will be happier. Only by letting go, you can find greater happiness. I'm not saying to let go of everything in the past and not hold on. Letting go of what is not worth holding on to. Of course, hold on what's worth it. Hold on as tight as you can and know that somehow, you just won't lose it.

Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall - Coldplay

[ And all the kids they dance
All the kids all night
Until Monday morning feels another life
I turn the music up
I'm on a roll this time
And heaven is in sight ]

Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall - Coldplay 

I found out the reason why I always hold on. Lol! Ok maybe not found out, just realise why I will hold on. Because it's worth it. Because at the end of the day, I know that everything will be alright. Because we know that having each other around mattered way more than the small little arguments. These kind of friendships, are worth holding on, even though we can get so pissed off and annoyed at each other at times, upset and unhappy with each other. We tell each other why we are so, we talked it out. And you just know that everything will be alright ultimately. That's what makes such friendships rare, special and especially dear. It's the kind of friendships where people outside of the friendship may not understand but we do. And that's enough. The friendships where we don't care what others say about us, we just do what we want to. Be true to each other and know that we have each other around.

I'm really grateful. That I found such friends in my life. I miss them. All of them, be it those I see often or not. Somehow, I can never get enough of them. Haha! These are the people who can just make you smile without wanting to. Thinking about them makes you happy somehow, knowing that they are still part of your life. And you know that, somehow, you don't have to worry that they won't continue to be part of your life. That's the best part I think. Knowing that they will always be there for you no matter what. That they will be there.

Gahhh I really want to meet up with many people soon. Seriously miss all of them like mad. And I need more photos. LOL! It has really been seriously a long time since I spam with my camera. I kinda miss that feeling. I miss spamming photos of people who are reluctant to take photos!!! Haha! The annoyance they feel and how they just give up and let me take them. =D And how by giving up, they still won't pose for me, but they just won't complain that I'm taking photos of them. So it's the natural look. Haha! I guess I just miss taking photos in general. Photos of people who mattered to me. I think maybe 'cause it's been a long time since I really go out go out. And go places where we can take photos. We should go explore weird places again. =D

Now, I just really wish time can fast forward so that I can do all the things that I want to do without feeling guilty for doing it. We can get through this!!! Life surprises. Haha! Ah, I'm so glad really. I mean yes, life isn't perfect but since when was it so? As long as you are satisfied, as long as you are contented, as long as you know how to get happiness from the little things, as long as I don't know, just knowing that everything will be alright and that life is just beautiful.

I'm really thankful that God gave me a mind that can think postively even after feeling negative. I'm glad that I can never stay negative. Of course, there are times when I'm really negative but I'm glad that I know how to get out of the negativity.

Always look on the bright side of life~
Someone taught me that when I was just a 9 year-old kid. And I guess it just stuck.

tired

I'm tired. Of school, of cca, of friends, of family, of everything. Time is really hard to grab hold. As you grow older, time is really something out of your control. You want to make time for people but you can't. And it's not even excuses 'cause there is just so much things to do that you just don't have the time to do everything and some things just have to be sacrificed. Friendships become fragile at times and you feel tired of holding on to it sometimes. But the thing about me is that I'll always hold on no matter what. No matter how stupid it is of me to hold on. And how even though you are feeling downright shit now, you still have to put on a false excited and happy facade 'cause everyone else is feeling shot as well and you decided to not make them feel worse but feel better in some ways. But then, you'll feel really tired. Having to fake it all. And how some people don't even appreciate you being happy and excited, even though it's fake. Hey, at least I bothered and make the effort to try to make you feel better. So don't come saying and complaining. It's tiring I swear. Having to fake that everything is alright when it's not. But no matter how stupid it seems, no matter how tiring it is on you, in the end, you'll still do it. Because you don't want people to feel like you. You want them to know that they have someone there for them. I know that I have people supporting me so I guess even though I'm tired sometimes, I know that at least I have people who really cares, who really bothers. I really wonder why people just won't make the effort sometimes. And why people just can't take a step back and give in. Yes, maybe the other person is in the wrong. But if you are really angry, don't talk immediately. Walk away first. Because you know that if you don't walk away, you will say a lot of mean things that you will regret saying later. That's why when I'm really angry, I will try not to give a reply immediately because I know that I am capable of saying very mean stuffs. I'll take a step back. Wait until my anger subside before I speak to the other party. Yes, at that anger moment, I rant to other people but at least not to the person I'm angry at. Because if I were to give a reply at that point of time, I know that I'll regret whatever things that I said. And by then, some things just won't be the same again. And fights yes, I'm not saying fights are bad but really, fights just makes people feel tired. Maybe it's my way of doing things. You can say that I'm a coward 'cause I'll rather give in than to fight. But I'm not saying that I won't fight for what I think is right. I'll wait until when I'm more calm, when I think through things carefully, then I'll reason out. I'm careful, I'm not rash. I'm not sure if it's actually a good thing always but sometimes, you really just got to do it. Or else some words said cannot never be taken back no matter what. Ah I really hate this. There is so many stuffs going on that I feel that I'm becoming numb to everything. I care about all to the point where I'm just tired and lifeless and numb. Times like this, I just wish that I can ignore the world and just be in my own shell. CCA. Oh, that's a long story that I guess I'll save it for next time if I feel like. I want to get out. I feel choked up. I need to study. Argh seriously, I want to be rich sometimes 'cause that way, I can just go any places I want when I feel like it. Any country, any place to just get away from everything. Ok it feels better letting it all out. Yes, I'll continue to be positive because that's how I want to live everyday with. No point feeling negative and sad and annoyed by everything. Just let go of all the unhappiness. Really. Why bother holding on to things that makes you feel sad? I guess yea, even though I'm tired now, I know that I won't be tired forever. I know that somehow, I will get through it all. That everything will be all right. I believe. I hope. I have faith. Know that there are people worth living for, worth being happy with and happy for.