holding on to the precious and important

When we are young, we think that we are invincible. And that we have everything, our futures in control. But as you grow older, things just slowly get out of control. Friends forever used to mean it. But it gets harder somehow. Everyone has different schedules and plans and friends and family.

Sometimes, I'm honestly quite scared that I'll slowly lose some of my friends as time pass by. And the reason for it is because we drifted. That's the worse way to end a friendship because once you've drifted, it's quite hard to find it back again. It's still possible of course but the chances are rare and you need to have a lot of fate with the person. I'll rather the friendship "ended" because of some stupid fight because at least it shows that both of you still care a lot abt each other. And that after solving the random misunderstandings and end the fight, you are friends again. It all really ends when you stop caring. And that often happens when you are busy and don't have time. Which is going to happen as you grow older. It may seems like an excuse at times and to be true, I still think it is but I think I have yet to be truly busy to the point where you really just don't have time for anything else. What I do know is that I really don't want a future like that. I want to be able to have time for my family and friends and not just my job. But knowing the me, I'll either have everything and make myself very very tired or I'll not have everything. Right now, I think I'm balancing my life quite alright. But that's just because I'm not that busy yet. But I do know also that when I can't balance, the one person that I will treat badly and make the person tired is myself. I don't know if it's a good thing but I do know it's not healthy.

Anyway, as of right now, I really really want to hold on to the friendships that I have. Because they are all really important to me. Even if I may not meet up with everyone very often, they are important. They are the people I want to keep for a long time. I do think I'm quite greedy at times because I really want everything. Lol. Which alright, I come to realise that I really can't. But I just know that I want to be able to still meet up with these pple from time to time even if I can't do it often.

I guess it's just something I want to be able to remember when I'm older. That I'll look back at this blog post and hopefully still able to hold on to the friendships that are precious to me now.

And I guess I am honestly glad that there is this amazing group of people who I know that time and tide somehow won't change this friendship of ours. Because it's weird to begin with and it has lasted for so long already. And I kinda have pretty strong faith that it will be alright no matter what. Not that I don't have faith in other friendships because I do. It's just that this friendships is just like that. Haha! We are really just like that. =D

All these super random thoughts just from hearing We Are Young by fun. Haha! I like mornings like these though. When songs keep your thoughts going. And I also need to improve on my English a lot. It really kind of sucks. Maybe I should try blogging in good perfect English. HAHA! But I'll just be gross out by myself when I read back my blog posts so forget it. =D

Don't Stop Believin'- Journey/Glee

[ Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlights people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night ]

Don't Stop Believin'- Journey/Glee

This song just brings back all the old memories. Haha! Was looking through the photos just now 'cause I had to find some photos to develop and feeling all nostalgic again. But I guess yes, that's what awesome about photographs. You just feel like you are back to that exact moment when you see the photograph for awhile. And it just feels nice.

Yep, part of my plans for until before uni starts is to pick up photography again. I just kinda need to bring my camera more and go out more often. Haha! Ok lar, not exactly go out more often. Just take more photos I guess. Stop being lazy and stuffs. My camera isn't cheap so I really shouldn't waste it lying there and unused. I feel so bad to it. Lol! And my holga!! I'm trying to finish using the film soon. Heh.

KOREA!! Ohya!! I'm going Korea from 4th May to 11th May. The air tickets are confirmed. We're taking SQ there. Lol! But it's really only because there was some promotion thing so we just book it and oh well yes, it's SQ. Who doesn't like SQ. Heh. But yes! We all using our own money for the trip. =D

Since we'll be in another country, I'm quite sure we'll spam quite a lot of photos. Heh. 2 DSLRs are ready to go. =D With Polariods and other cameras also. LOL! Ok lar, I think we'll plan what to bring. Haha! And what to wear and where to go and stuffs and stuffs. I'm so excited!!!!! Heh. It's like last year we say to go together but we didn't really expect to really really go now. =D But yes!! Air tickets confirmed all already so don't want go also cannot. =D

too often but still not enough

So here's to the people who I really met up pretty often for the past few weeks but we just somehow won't get sick of each other. Lol! I don't know how we do it but we just can lar. Haha!

Bangkit Buddies!! Haha! Our final supper before Shaohao enlist on 13th Feb! Shaohao enlisted on 14th Feb. Haha! It's like people to chill out with until late at night and not feel that you are out very late 'cause you are very near home. =D

Had breakfast on 28th Feb with Weiying, Feli and Swap! I had work that day so I kinda made them wake up at 7plus just so as to accompany me for breakfast. Heh.

The text that made my day on 28th Feb! Even though ok, I didn't really have good news to share but really super touched that Mr Phang actually texted us the day before to wish us good luck. =))

Met up with these people for breakfast on 1st march! Results day!!! Shaohao booked out of army. Heh. Managed to see Changhui also but didn't get to take photo with him. But yep, the both of them were sharing with us army stories and it's really damn interesting. For a moment, I really forgot that I was going to get my A levels results that day. Haha! Ohya! And we saw Qifeng and Junrong also. Lol! It was quite random but still quite cool. All of them are without hair now. Haha!

Took train to school with these people on Results Day~ Though we had to separate at some places. Lol! Except Swap, Feli and me. Heh. But yes, these girls, really thankful for them in my life. =) 1 Indian, 1 Indian Muslim, 2 small eyed Chinese and 1 Chinese but look like a Malay. =D Feli really look like a Malay in this photo. HAHA!

Went SMU, NTU and NUS Open Houses withe them also~ Haha! Hence, what I say about us meeting so crazy often. =D

On the way to NTU open house on 9th march! We were like some crazy 4 people who never sit on the front sit of a double-decker bus before. Lol! Probably because we were all not very awake yet.

Ohya, I love how we always take a long time to actually reach the open house because we needed to satisfy our hunger. For us, food is first above everything else. Haha!

Went to NUS Open house with these bunch on 16th March! Didn't get to see a lot of other friends even though many people went for the open house. We saw Enming though and disturbed him. Haha! I swear we are damn noisy and childish when we are together. It's quite scary. Lol!

 And we celebrated Swap's birthday. HAHA! Sort of lar. We kinda just claimed Faeqa's free cake from Starbucks and ate it. =D

HAHAHAHA! Guodong without hair. =D Lol! When I first saw him at the LRT, I really just burst out laughing because it's just funny. Haha! Like for Shaohao I laughed 'cause I wasn't used to it but slowly it was alright. Then Changhui looks really normal. But wah, Guodong one is just best. =D Ok I'm quite bad but at least I laughed in his face. Haha! But wah, he become damn annoying. Ok, he was annoying all along but became worst. Tsk tsk. But okok, at least he came to the open house with us. =D

And to end this off, I WENT FUN.'S CONCERT WITH SWAP ON 15TH MARCH!! =D My first English and free-standing concert!! And it was good!!! Nate Ruess was damn good. He didn't sound like he was singing live but he really was. I don't know how he did it. He really got very good breath. Lol! But wahhh he was really good. They were really good. But I only knew 3 of their songs better. The rest I heard before but don't really know the lyrics so it's hard to catch up. Then when Carry On, Some Nights and We Are Young came up, I went crazy. =D Swap also. Haha! And the crowd went crazy too 'cause everyone knows these songs. But yes, the concert was really awesome. =D

 

Didn't take much photos 'cause we were kinda lazy. Lol! But ok, I really love iPhone 5. =( Their camera is way better than iPhone 4. Ok obviously but ya. It's ok, my iPhone is still good. I just want to change again soon though. Heh. Oh well, see how! =D

Now, I really want Coldplay, P!nk or Justin Timberlake to come Singapore for a concert. I will really go for them if they come. I must go!!! And going concerts are quite addictive. Lol! The atmosphere is really nice. I really really want to go for Coldplay one because I know that it will be good no matter what. Lol! They are just awesome live lar. And Justin Timberlake!! Awesome guy. Hehe. P!nk is just crazy good live. And the best part is that I know almost all of their songs so I can really go crazy during their concerts. Lol! Come Singapore, guys!!

Alright! Updates of random stuffs~

Went to watch movie with Nisa and Jordan on 13th Feb! Supposed to be Kbox but then we realised kbox was crazy expensive so we went for a movie instead. We actually watched A Good Day to Die Hard. Lol! Ok lar, Nisa and I felt that kbox was way better than the movie but Jordan loved it. Lol! Guy thing with movie that doesn't really have a storyline but jammed packed with action. Haha!

Cereals in the cinema! I kinda made Nisa buy for me. =D But anyway, I actually treated these 2 people to Starbucks. Tsk. It's ok, I will have good karma. =D

The last photo with this boy before he enlist! He enlisted on 18th Feb which is a completely different day from most people. Lol! He's the only one I knew enlisted on 18th Feb. Super funny 'cause everyone was saying that he's gay that's why a different day. =D OHYA!! Lol! I didn't get to take photo with his botak hair but he really looked funny. =D I saw him on Results Day and I was really quite amused by his hair. Haha! Feli say he looks like squidward but then again, she has been saying a lot of army guys looking like squiward so I guess she's not that accurate. Lol!

Had dinner with Jiesi, Junyuan and Feli on 25th Feb! Had dinner at Manhattan Fish Market and managed to get Junyuan to treat us for dessert at Ji De Chi. =D It's one of the rare occasion when Junyuan decided to be nice. =D

Went running with Nisa and Feli on 27th Feb! Feli and I actually went to buy ice cream right after the run 'cause the ice cream man was nicely positioned there. Tsk. And then we had Nasi Lemak for lunch. Lol! Sometimes I really wonder what's all the running for. =D Ohya! And we watched The Time Traveller's Wife after that 'cause I needed to kill time until my driving lessons. =D

Had dinner with Qiaofen and Jiesi on 5th March! It was a rather impromptu dinner meet up but nice anyway. =D

This cake is damn good. Qiaofen intro-ed this to us and it's really super nice! =D And it's quite worth it too I think. For the price that we are paying. Talked with the 2 of them for super long. Been awhile since I get to talk to them for so long.

Dinner on 6th March with these people!

Bukit Timah Food Centre! Because Junyuan wants it. Tsk tsk. Haha! Ok, few days before 6th March, some funny things happened. Lol! Misunderstanding again. I realise that we humans really need to just talk to each other and not rely on texting because texting never conveys the right message that we actually wanted the other person to know. But ok, I'm still glad that it's all cleared up. It's just still quite funny though. Haha!

And yes!! Last photo with Brendan before he enlist! He enlisted on 11th March as diver~ Haha! Ok lar, I'm really quite proud that I have a friend in the diver unit. =D I realise, I'm really listing down when almost everyone enlisted. LOL! But ok, I'm really quite looking forward to hearing them and their army stories when they book out. =D And yes, I can't wait to see Brendan's hair. =D

Sheng Ri Kuai Le

Since I'm out of words to type for my essay thing for NUS applications, I shall blog. Haha! To hopefully get some sort of inspiration though I doubt it will come.

I realise the last time I properly update about my life was CNY. Haha! That was more than one month ago. Lol! Nothing much happened actually. I mean besides A Level Results. Haha! I just work on some days then I went for driving lessons on days I don't work. I met up with my friends on days I don't work as well. Haha! Sounds quite boring but I think I'm having a good life. =D As in I like it like that. Like work sometimes then hang out with people sometimes, go for driving lessons sometimes. It's quite nice.

Oh yes!!! I passed my Final Theory Test!! =D My practical test date is on 29th May! My heart was really strangely beating damn fast when I was booking. Lol! But yes!! I really can't wait to get my license. Just one more step. =D

Celebrated birthdays!! Hah!

They all came over to my house on 16th Feb to ba nian! Then we celebrated Puiling's birthday as well. =D though ok, it was more of a hangout and play cards session instead of celebrating birthday. Haha!

Celebrated Faeqa's birthday on 4th March! Haha! Feli, Swap and I went over to her tuition centre to find her since she had to work on her birthday. Then her management is quite screwed up so she had no lessons from 4.30 to 7.30 so we decided to accompany her during that time. Yes we were singing and partying at her tuition centre. HAHA! We got her Starbucks and random tartlets from Prima Deli. Anyway, we stayed on awhile more and talked to her kid. =D Or ok, disturb her kid and her. Haha! But the kid really damn cute and super talkative. Haha! Kids really say the funniest things. =D

Swapna's Birthday on 12th March~ We went to town to meet Weiying for lunch 'cause she had work that day. For her birthday, we wrote a testimonial for her. HAHA! Since this woman got 5 As and was applying for scholarships but her bitchy teacher is well, a bitch. So we decided to write her a "nice" testimonial. Haha! And I gave her a cow!!! But she lost it. Tsk. We went Kbox at Scape after that! Faeqa's first visit to Kbox! We sang for 2 hours only but we went completely mad. We sang all the scremo songs and wah really jump around and stuffs even though we were all wearing dress. Haha! Yes we decided to be annoying to Swap and forced her to wear dress on her birthday. =D

Ok birthdays done. Lol! I shall post another one for other stuffs. =D

things I'll never say

What are the things that you will never say? Even when you should. Even when you know you want to say it so much. Even when you care so much about that person but you will never say it no matter what. What happens when one day, you will regret not saying while you still had the chance? Regrets, in any form, are the worst feelings to feel.

Pride. Pride makes you never say the things that you want to say. I never understood pride but I know that it's something that everyone has it even if you think you don't. I know that I can be quite prideful sometimes. But of course, I will let it down sometimes when you know that you may lose people if you don't. Admitting that it is your fault even though it wasn't anyone's fault.

Sigh. I have so much things I wanted to type about but there's just so much that I'm at a loss of words. I miss people.  To be honest, sometimes I wonder if I actually do really miss or it's just that I'm used to missing people that it's normal to miss them. Haha! Not sure if it makes sense but yep.

And I suddenly realise how scary a friend can really disappear from your life so abruptly. Can't help suddenly thinking of a close friend who just cut off all sorts of connection with everyone. Like not even a person has some contact with this friend. It's rather scary I think. It's more strange 'cause this friend was actually close to a lot of us.

But yea lar, just a sudden thought. To be true, I know I don't really care about this friend anymore. I just really find it strange how can a person just cut off ties with, well, the world. It's too weird. Too strange.

Alright, I should be thankful that I have friends who stayed on by my side. Who doesn't leave or runaway or avoid me. Lol! Friends who are worth the keep. And yes, some things happen this way for a reason. And I guess, it's good. Haha! As in just a thought of how things may have been but didn't happen which I should be glad it didn't? Because yes, I'm pretty sure if it did happen, things will not be the same as it is now. And I'm quite sure that most likely things would have been worse if it went the other way. So yes, everything happens for a reason. Haha! Obviously but yep. Some things are just not meant to be but it's alright.

So yes, sometimes, you won't say all the things that you may want to say. But it's alright because maybe it doesn't really mattered for you to actually say it so much.

And you know, I really feel like I'm crazy naggy. Lol! And how I really always go on saying the same things for awhile. Just that it's all phrase differently. Lol! Ok, I'm typing this half asleep so pardon me for all these nonsense. I shall attempt to post activities stuffs next time. Lol! Attempt is the word.

those days

Ok, let me complain. In secondary school, I was really so different from in JC. Ok maybe not extremely but I really was more active in class. I'll take initiative. Ok probably because I was the monitress then. But even in sec 3, I was rather active? Ok maybe it's the environment as well. But really, I realise sec 3 and 4 were really the 2 years that made the most difference in my life. And for that to happen, I know that I really need to thank 4E1. For letting me meet such wonderful people in those 2 years. I really cannot imagine how my life would be if I wasn't so lucky to have entered 3S1 and meet all these incredible friends.

And I guess, I know I shouldn't compare because yes, it's in a different environment and stuffs so everything will change. Most of us changed when we entered JC. Some changed a lot while others changed little. But everyone changed because we entered a new stage of our lives. And now that JC is over, we are all once again entering another new stage of our lives. And I guess, everyone will change again. Especially the army guys since yes, I think army really makes those little childish boys a little more mature. HAHA! Ok that's what I hope. Haha! But ok, I still hope that they won't be all too mature because it's honestly too weird if they stop being childish and lame because that's kinda what's awesome about them. Haha!

Anyway, I guess, I just want to rant because I looked through my secondary sch report book and then I looked through my JC one and I can't help noticing the great difference in them. I really had a more all-rounded life in Fuhua with good grades and good leadership stuffs. Of course, my leadership stuffs isn't damn awesome but it's good enough. AC I sort of had leadership stuffs but my grades were just down all the way. My peak grades is actually A levels. Haha! Except for that one bloody subject.

Alright. That's the end of my rant. Lol! I just miss sec 3 & 4 I guess. But then again, since when have I not. Haha! But yes I know, I should be glad that at least I had such amazing 2 years with the incredible class before. =) it's really harder to meet up now. I realise that now. Haha! But ok, hopefully, we can still meet up at least once a year. We'll see how. =)

a. Share an event or incident you have encountered personally and why and/or how it has affected you or is especially meaningful to you.

So this is one of the questions for the discretionary portion of NTU Admissions. This question just made me look back at my past 19 years and it's really hard to find an event or incident that is especially meaningful to you because there is just so many events that is meaningful and special to me. To find one especially significant one is hard. Because every single events in our lives shape us to become who we are now be it we like it or not. Every events and incidents are important because it happened in your life.

I'm quite glad that when I look back at my past 19 years, I'm really grateful for all that happened. The events and incidents. There are just too many to choose from. Hence, I won't be writing on this. HAHA! But yea, it just made me realise that I'm really pretty lucky. To have this stable family to make everything alright. Laying the foundations of the person I become. My family isn't perfect. But it is still the best to me. Friends who are just always there for me. People who care about me and who are simply irreplaceable. I guess yea, I'm just really glad. To have many moments in my life that are meaningful to me. To have people who are just amazing in my life. To be honest, I really really miss all those moments. But I know that for the fact that I actually have those moments, it's good enough. Haha! Something that I always say. =D

And ok, this is completely random but I realise I'm honestly too predictable that it's annoying sometimes. Lol! Like my family and friends, everyone who knows me considerably well, always seem to know what I will do next or what I will say next. Though it's somewhat "nice" sometimes because it shows that they actually care and bother to notice and predict what you will do next, it's bloody annoying. 'Cause most of the time they predict correctly. Tsk. And how they seriously like to notice all the small small details. But they almost always never listens to me when I have actual stuffs to say. Such awesome friends right? My family is annoying too. Lol! Ok lar, they are kinda my family for a reason so somehow they will know what you are thinking and where you will actually go and stuffs. Still annoying though. I feel like I'm too predictable and there's no element of mystery. HAHA! Ok sounds damn funny but it's true!! People read me easily. But I guess only to people who really know me well enough to figure out what I'm thinking. Haha! Ok so yes, I should be glad that at least I have people who can understand me without having me to explain everything so super clearly.

Alright, I'm getting sleepy. There's work tmr too. But ok, work is still fun but tiring. It's the physically tired thing. And travelling is seriously bitch. Though I'm used to it and stuffs already but it's still annoying. Nevermind!! For money. HAHA!