suck it up

Crap. Feeling this same old shit feeling every time the day before school reopens and I end up not completing hell lot of stuffs. How how tell me how. Ah.. Seriously, I hate time. I really really don't get how I'll always run out of time when I thought I had a lot of time. It just sucks. I really don't like this feeling but I always feel it every time the day before I had school after a break. And it just sucks.

I really waste my time too freaking easily. Why is there so many freaking hell stuffs around to distract me? And my concentration level is so freaking low. Hmm.. I think I need deadlines in my life. Then I'll really work towards them and not slack so much. But personal deadlines don't work on me. I got no self-discipline. Nothing at all man. Freaking horrible.

But ok, I think I really need to get hold of myself and really force myself to start doing stuffs and not just slack away, enjoying life. I'm not privileged enough to be enjoying life and not care a thing of the world. Even if I'm privileged, that's not how we should live life too. Wasting time of freaking useless stuffs. If I'm privileged, I'll travel, and take photos and really focus on photography. But then again, I'm not. So I freaking hell shouldn't waste more time on useless stuffs. Ah. Typing this post is kinda wasting time too. But I really need to vent out somewhere.

OK, THIS SEMESTER WILL BE HELL, I CAN FEEL IT COMING ALREADY. But yep, I must continue on and I know I will be able to. Just that I really got to stop procastinating, and stop looking at useless stuffs as if you have a whole lot of time on your hands, 'cause you freaking hell don't. Time will flash by and you will be taking your A levels freaking soon. And by then, if you regret, it's really too freaking late. So yep, get you head in check and stop wasting time. And just focus. I really need to focus and get my freaking tutorials done and read up before lectures. It's going to be hell but I've got to endure through it.

Alright, I think I'm going to sleep first. Screw EoM, I'll get it done tomorrow. My mind isn't right for that now. And yes, please get it done tomorrow 'cause you owe this thing for freaking long already and if you continue to delay, it's your own freaking fault if you don't get the A that you want.

Ah, I really need to take some chill pill. LOL. I really feel more angst this year. It's not nice being so freaking angst. It just ruins your own mood. I want to go insane laughing. Like seriously man. Last year, everyday when I went to school, something would just make me happy. Or at least make me laugh or I don't know. Like everyday, I would look forward to school. Genuinely like going to school. Maybe not days where there are tests and all but somehow, I would still have this drive to go to school 'cause I knew I would be seeing pple that I like and these pple would make me happy in the smallest of ways, make me laugh crazy and mad. And just make me enjoy school. Sucks how these pple are no longer around. True, Feli is still in the same class but it's not as if we have all our classes together. We only had Geog, GP, PE and PW together. Not even math. The friends I hang out with are really awesome, but somehow yea, they don't make me want to go to school. LOL. They are really nice pple, but hmm.. ok they are just not 4E1. Haha! Ah, miss the class. I know I shouldn't keep missing them all but yep, can't help it when they are really such freaking hell awesome pple and together as a class, we are just the best.

Hmm.. Guess this is just life? You can't always have something forever. Life's like that so suck it up! I still have a great family, friends that might not always be there physically but they will always be there when you need them. Ah, ok, let's just think all happy thoughts to cheer yourself up. Life really is good, not the best but who's to say whether it's the best? You are to say. So if you say it's the best, it will be the best. There are times you feel tired and freaking hell want to give up everything and just stop doing stuffs and just relax and whatever, but just strive on and you will get through them. Whatever shit and crap they are. Time is the most annoying thing ever but just hold on to whatever time you have and live a good live. Enjoy every minute as much as you can, even though you don't feel yourself enjoying. Lol. Just yea, I think this whole blog post is contradictory but whatever, my brain works like that. Confusing the shit out of me but it's my brain so I'll live with it.

Being an Ice-Cream in the previous life seems like a better option now. Though I'll melt all but ok whatever. I'm getting tired 'cause all the nonsense crap and talking too much is starting to come out already. I can feel it. Still have quite a lot of stuffs to do so yep, my life is awesome. And I kinda don't feel like stopping this post 'cause I know I'll have to start doing other stuffs once I stop posting.

OK. STOP RUNNING AWAY ALREADY, YAP YI FANG. Get your butt off the seat and get going on doing all the stuffs and sleep soon so that you'll have the energy for freaking school tmr!

(This is a pure ranting post so if it doesn't make sense, don't try to make sense out of it 'cause you won't. Like seriously won't. And since I'm tired now, it just really won't. OK, gosh, I really got to STOP TYPING!)