But ok, I guess what I initially wanted to angst about is how uni is really really not easy. How it really sucks that I'm not studying what I really like and want to study. And how I'm really not sure if I'm in the right course. Right now, it really feels like I'm in a wrong course. And it kinda sucks 'cause yea, it's already the 2nd semester. I know it's not too late to change course, but being the scaredy cat me, I won't do it. Or rather, I don't want to give up what I have already been going through for half a year. Though it wasn't much. And though I may really like Social Science a lot more than what I am doing now, there is a reason why I got into SMU econs. Right now, I'm not sure what it is. Haha! But I know that I am not putting in my greatest effort in understanding everything. So it's kinda on my part. Yes, it may not be something I like. But that doesn't mean that I can't do it. I think I really need to stop having that mindset. Because, yes, I may be good in something that I don't really like. And it's not say I don't like econs. I just don't really understand it fully yet. So yes, it takes time and I need to put in a lot more effort. I need to work a lot harder and try. Yes just try. Because giving up isn't an option in university. Once you give up, you are really gone.
And I, of all people, should be crazy thankful for having given this opportunity to study in SMU. So yes, I should be more than grateful for it and do my freaking hell best in it. I really need to put in more effort. I know I've said this a million times but I really need to remind myself constantly. Stop looking at nonsense stuffs that don't add value to your life. Lol! Ok lar, some actually do add value in some ways. But yea, some really don't. Of course, taking a break isn't harmful too. But yea lar, limits.
Yep, uni isn't easy. No one ever said it was. It was just us silly kids who think that it's easy when it's not. To think that when you study something you like, it will be easy. But it doesn't always mean you will study something you like. And even if you do study something you like, you still have to put in great deal of effort into it. Life isn't as easy as you think.
But yes, we will all get there. We won't die. We will still be happy as long as we want to be. We can still make it somewhere as long as we do the best that we can be. Yes, the best that we can be. Still my favourite motto ever. Still the way I live my life by. Because as long as you do the best that you can do, it's honestly enough. You don't need to prove anything to the world, you just need to prove to yourself and know that you have already done your best. And that's all that matters.
So whatever shit is thrown at me, whatever hell and nonsense and stuffs that don't seem to make any sense, come at me bro, I'll take it all in.
But yes, also, I'm looking forward to recess week. HAHA! And of course, that long awaited summer. I seriously can't wait for summer break. And can't wait to spam outings with all those many groups of people. And hopefully have chalet and travel. Hehe. Ok yes, shouldn't start making too many plans but it won't hurt to make some plans. Heh. And can't wait for everyone to be back in Singapore. HAHA! Ok lar, it's actually just that boy in UK who's overseas. At least with him back, I don't have to persuade the guys to come out 'cause they will somehow turn up. Haha!
Okok, I really miss that 8 months life. I was walking home from the bus stop just now and felt really sad somehow. How it's really no more fun and games anymore. But I guess we'll just have to find a different kind of fun. HAHA! And yes, those true friends of yours won't run away. They have been there for the most parts of your life and yep, they won't leave.
But I guess why I really miss those 8 months is that if I miss certain people, I can just easily and freely ask them out to meet on some random day. Like just that easy. But now, it's damn bloody hard even to meet for a short while. And even if we do meet for a short while, it's usually not enough.
But ok, enough of my whining about meeting up with people and stuffs. I guess one thing about me is that I'll never stop missing people. Haha! And you know, I think my version of heaven will be a place where I'm with God, my family and the friends who I love a lot. I've actually thought of this before when I was young and I think it's so true. As in I think I would like a place where everyone I love is just so near to me. Haha! Okok, this is getting slightly far-fetched and very random.
I guess all I want to say is that yes, university isn't easy. Not even close. But nothing in life is easy. And even if things aren't easy, it doesn't mean that you can't be happy or that you can't enjoy it. And yea lar honestly, to be happy, it's all up to you. Finding those things that make you happy. Yes, of course there will be times when you feel like you can't take it anymore. There will always be down times. But rememeber to get up 'cause life goes on and there are so much more things worthy to live for.
[ If you fall pick yourself up off the floor (get up)
And when your bones can't take no more (c'mon)
Just remember what you're here for
Cuz I know imma damn sure ]
The Fighter - Gym Class Heroes Feat. Ryan Tedder
This song is really super nice to hear when you are feel the world weighing down on your shoulders. Haha! Songs are really amazing.
Just a side note; sometimes fate play tricks on you. Sometimes almost is not enough. Sometimes things may not go the way you wanted. Sometimes unexpected things happen. Sometimes you can't control the things that happen. Sometimes you can't control the feelings you feel. Sometimes you don't understand why you feel the way you feel. But I guess one day, it will all make sense and you will soon realise why those sometimes happen and yea, some day, you will find the answers slowly. Sometimes, you don't even need to have an answer ultimately. Because sometimes, some things need no explanation; it just happens. We just have to be patient and yes, it will happen, it will come. One day, it will.
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