most important

Still my favourite photo of them ever. Heh. Ok, that's because I took this photo but I really think it's still a very nice photo. I should probably develop this for them soon. Show off my proud work. HAHAH But okay, I swear this egoistic thing truly runs in the blood. My parents are freaking self praising people too. So yes, that's why I'm their daughter ah.

Anyway, the purpose of this post isn't to diss them but to truly praise them. Because today I just got reminded of how freaking lucky I am to have them as my parents and I truly want to somehow grow up faster, get a good paying job and go travelling with them. Because I realise that they are not getting any younger but they are still working freaking hard just so that my sister and I can get the best. Of course, they are working hard for their own retirement as well because they don't want to rely on us. Which honestly, they are crazy because they can completely rely on us in the future. But you see, these two people here are just selfless. I'm not just saying it because they are my parents but their personalities are truly selfless. Whatever they do, they will always think about other people. Yes, they will think about themselves too but from what I see, they are always looking out for others, helping others to become better.

But it truly sucks how they are so busy now and working so hard. I really want to help them but my abilities are limited. Which yes, I know I should help them more in ways that I can so I am going to do my best. Because yes, I realise they are always crazy supportive of whatever I do. And they will always assure me to go pursue whatever I want. Take this exchange for instance, I am legit worried about money issues 'cause let's face it, Europe is expensive. But today my dad was telling me to not worry about the money issue and just have fun. Just enjoy my time there and yes, they will work hard to earn the money for me. And it sucks. 'Cause I feel truly like a burden for having to rely on my parents for money. I know, I'm studying and not earning much so it kinda makes sense that they will be the ones to sponsor this trip. And yes, I know that I will pay them back in the future. But when you see how hard they have to work to ensure that our family lives a considerably comfortable life, your heart will just ache. I want them to stop travelling so much but their job kinda requires them to travel. I want to accompany them in their travels but I'm bounded by school and everything else. And yes, money issues as well. And times like these I really wish that somehow I am earning money too and providing for the family so that they don't have to work so hard.

Though I'm quite used to them travelling and stuffs, it still gets quite lonely in the house sometimes. Like there are times when I will really miss them. Yes, I'm really still very much a child that needs my parents. Needy youngest ah. And I guess yea, knowing that I am twenty-one already but still very much dependent on them isn't a great feeling. I know that I shouldn't be thinking of it as that but it would really be great to see them enjoy their life and work lesser. One very heart-aching thing is when you see them ageing. And the scariest thing about my parents is that they look young but they are actually not. And that's when we get a bit complacent because sometimes looking at them you will really forget that hey, they are getting older too. Because yes, as you get older, they too get older.

"When we are young, we think our parents will always be there. After we grow up, as we watch them age and grow frail, we know rationally that one day we will have to say farewell, yet emotionally we find it hard to imagine it happening. Then one day our parents are really gone, and so we are left with a sense of loss and pain. That is the human condition."

This was an extract from Lee Hsien Loong's eulogy for Lee Kwan Yew and yes, it's something that I really cannot see myself going through. I am very much reliant on them and yea, though I know that one day, I will have to say farewell but the thought of it is just something that I don't even want to think about.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm truly blessed to have these two people as my parents. They are dorks sometimes but they are my favourite dorks. And yes, I'm a horrible child who gets angry and annoyed at them over the smallest stuffs but they are always strangely understanding. I come to realise that as your parents get older, they start to demand lesser from you for fear of being burdens to you. But guys, you all are the supposed to be burden to your children. Or rather, it really is our responsibility to take care of you guys when you are older. That's for taking care of us when we were young.

So yes, I will keep my promise to earn lots of money and bring you guys around the world. Just promise me to stay healthy and fit to do so for the next 50 years to come. 

Things I learn while studying for Social Psychology. Haha! It's really a super interesting mod and I actually really enjoyed reading the textbook. Generally, I like all my modules this sem. They are all very interesting and rewarding. Okay, probably except for the econs one. But I guess every sem you need to have one math based mod to have a balance of some sort. To remember that I am still holding an economics degree, not that I'm actually pursuing that direction as of now but you know like in case I suddenly realise I like economics (Yea right).

Anyway, but yes, this sem has been actually good so far? In terms of like my studies. Which is very weird I swear 'cause it's my most busy sem ever. I think it's the nature of the modules? Generally stuffs that I like more. But yes, I still need to catch up with a lot of readings and what not. But they are interesting so that's good.

And hehe still super proud of our facilitation. For my Training & Development mod, everyone will have to do a facilitation with 2 other group members. So ours was online employee orientation. So we did online icebreakers through Facebook and made videos and employee slides. And wah the response was super positive and active. I think our class was very supportive also. Like really mega thankful and I'm still feel very happy and satisfied with it. Haha! Hopefully the main project also ah. But I think HR is really for me somehow. Like I legit enjoyed myself doing the video and coming up with the online icebreakers. Like I really very excited. Haha! And ok yes, very proud of myself also. Heh. Like with the video 'cause in the past I usually day a few days to finish but this time I took 8hours? For a 5 minute video, I think it's really not bad. Heh. And yes the icebreakers also. Like I'm honestly quite proud that I actually thought of the idea of using this website to create collage and introduce themselves using the photos on the collage.

Okay, I guess I'm just really glad that I can see myself improving? Like becoming better at doing stuffs. Like powerpoint slides also. I was really damn happy. Like I can do it fast and good. Usually it takes very long to do it good. But somehow this time it was different. So yea, like I can see myself improving as compared to last time. So yes, I'm just really happy ah.

But yes, I still think HR is really somehow for me. Like I legit like doing stuffs like that. It's more fun ah I feel. And it's not as if it doesn't value add also. It helps employees. Who are the assets of the company. Heh.

Alright, I think it's time for me to get back to studying. And packing my stuffs. And planning exchange. And many more. There are really a lot A LOT of things to do that its crazy ah. 

all I know

[ And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies
The beautiful kind, making up for lost time,
Taking flight, making me feel right
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now ] 

Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift Feat. Ed Sheeran

Truly can't wait for exchange and take really great photos. Heh. And of course travelling around really beautiful places. First, need to find some time to really plan everything. It's scary thinking about all the planning that needs to be done but okay, I'm still more excited than scared.

Also, miss those days where you really just relax and don't have to worry about anything much. Just doing stuffs because you want to. And enjoying each moment. Kinda miss internship though I'm sort of still on internship. Haha! But it's different though 'cause now it's just tiring having to go sch on 3 days and work on 2 days. I think I'm crazy but I guess it really forces me to manage my time better. Though I'm still quite horrible at doing that so good luck to me ah.

I just hope that this sem would be alright. Somehow. There are really just so many things going on that I'm legit confused sometimes. Hard to even keep up with my own life. Ok not really, it's just legit exhausting though.

OHYA I COMPLETED NITEBIKE!! HAHAH honestly quite proud of myself 'cause the last time I exercised was very very long ago. I wanted to run for the past few weeks to prepare my body for Nitebike but of course, me being me, I say only. Hence, I really didn't train at all. So yes, my thighs truly hurt during and after Nitebike. But I still completed it~ Haha! Yes, honestly quite proud of myself. And super thankful for my group which is actually just 5 of us (Feli, Swe, Gab, YX) plus 2 GLs 'cause everyone else dropped out. HAHA So okay lar, it's really quite fun 'cause it's with people I know and can be a burden to. I think I legit was the burden of the group but okay lar, they are really great people and honestly very reassuring to cycle with them. =D

Time, patience, fate. Keep calm, don't rush. Let's see what happens. 

Inside Out

HAHA this one really depicts all 5 characters. They are all so cute I realise heh.

Finally watched Inside Out~ Honestly still a Disney kid at heart heh. But anyway, this movie is really interesting and thought provoking. I think many kids may not really understand it. But to us, it's really something very relatable somehow. How all these emotions play in our head.

And how these emotions that we feel on a daily basis will be placed as part of our memory. And how these memories will form a big part of your personality and life. That's why memories are so important. They shape your thoughts and how you behave. How they drive our motives and everything. Without memories, you are kinda like an empty shell.

And a person, no matter how happy or positive he or she is, still needs to feel other emotions as well. Such as sadness, anger, fear and disgust. Combination of al these emotions. And its really interesting how sadness drives joy. Most of the time we thought that the reason why we feel sadness and stuff was because we have expectations on being happy and all that. But I realise, you need sadness to actually be happy. I guess okay, all emotions are interconnected. But somehow when we are sad, we will find ways to be happy. Or rather, some people I guess? Maybe not everyone but I know that for me, whenever I feel sad or angry or scared, I'll try to think happy thoughts and stuffs. Like how to make myself happier. It's kinda like we need these more negative emotions in order to feel happiness. To remember to be happy and stuffs. I don't really know but I think my emotions control are not too bad HAHA except in recent years the anger takes over more I realise. Ah well, it's all still very very interesting though. All these things about emotions.

How we feel and why we feel. All these feelings that we sometimes have no control over. How to let other people know what we are feeling too. It's all very confusing. But I guess, it's all an experience and such. You just learn along the way. 

do something

"You will be shocked when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That's why when you find someone you wanna keep around, you do something about it." 

- Ted, HIMYM

Making the effort to keep in touch and to meet up. I realise over the years, I've gotten lazier in doing so. Probably because usually I'm the one taking the initiative to meet up and stuffs. Somewhere along, you just stop. And also, 'cause life gets busier and you don't even have time for yourself. I realise I'm a person who needs my alone time very much. I think I haven't have that one day alone at home since I don't know when. It feels like life has been just going on and on for a very long time. But I guess it's not entirely a bad thing. I just need to learn how to maximise my time well so that I will have enough of everything.

But really thankful for the people who are taking the initiative to meet up. For taking over my job. Heh but yea, it's always nice to be asked out instead of always the one asking. HAHA I swear I sound so deprived. But okay lar, honestly, I don't really care. What I care is really just meeting people I want to meet. So even if I have to be the one who keeps taking the initiative to meet up, it's okay.

It's also very interesting how this fate thing works though. Something I honestly still do not have any idea about. Fate always, always plays tricks on me and it's very very frustrating at times. Like dude, stop. Don't confuse me. Give me a clearer sign. But then again, life is never easy and since when is there a clear sign for you to follow? So I guess, yes, just live ah. HAHA as in don't think too much and just carry on life as usual. Somehow if you are supposed to do something, you will do it no matter what. That somehow there is just something pushing you to do something about it. I hope there is though. 'Cause yes, missed chances are the most annoying shit ever.

So yes, I guess somehow, you just need to know. Haha! I have no idea how but it will come to you eventually. That gut feeling. I'll follow that I guess. Though yes, it's really hell of a confusing but if you never try, you'll never know. No idea what I'm saying anymore actually. I'm just like borrowing lyrics. LOL

Okay time for work and study. This sem, I'm gonna be a mugger. Then I'll get to enjoy like mad next sem. CAN'T FREAKING WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE. It's not that I hate Singapore. I love Singapore actually. It's my home and yes, still my favourite place on Earth but sometimes, you just need a bit of fresh air to appreciate this favourite place more. Haha! And also, okay ah, I just really wanna talk lots of nice photos and utilise this sad camera that is lying in my dry cabinet on most days. =\

So yes, study. 

HAHAHAHA this gif completely made my day when I first saw it. And I still love it. HAHA too cute I swear.

I realise time truly doesn't wait. Somehow, it's going to be the end of August. Somehow, I'm already in my third year of university. Somehow, I'm still working at the company I did summer internship at. HAHA Ok I'm not regretting my choice of continuing the internship as part-time because yes, I really like the company and my boss and my colleagues. Just that, I'm also quite scared that I can't manage my time well and just crumble and die. Because yes, this sem it's my first time doing 5 mods. Though most mods are quite alright so that's good. Then there is exchange to plan for. Which I think might be a bit crazy. BUT I'm freaking excited for it as well. Just the money part is a bit worrying hence, working. Haha! But yes, honestly love my boss for letting me stay on and stuffs. She is truly a person I want to keep in contact with if possible. Yes, I'll try to talk more about internship soon. Haha! It had truly been a great experience and I'm freaking thankful for it.

And yes, also need to keep a lookout for internship for next summer. Though I think I might do part-time next year instead of doing a summer internship 'cause I think by the time I'm back, I won't have time for a full 3 months internship.

Busy life ah. But yes, I think busy suits me better. I think that somehow I can manage my schedule better with this limited time. Hopefully ah. If not, I will really just crumble and die. But nope, I believe I'm really stronger than that. Gonna be crazy but I guess it will all be worth it.

And age is also catching up on me. Which is something I really shouldn't be saying 'cause yes, I'm really still very young. But I guess sometimes you really can't help comparing the things you haven't experience yet to the things you did. So I really just need to remember all the things that I had accomplished so far. Not a lot, but they are still something. And yes, good things are worth the wait. So just be patient and don't rush things because it's just stupid. Peer pressure ah. Don't succumb to it. Doesn't mean that everyone around you are doing it so you must do it as well. Just live the life the way you want to and see how it goes. Somehow, things will fall into place. Slowly but surely.

So laugh like this kid in the gif. Hehe seriously made my day so much.  =D

for this is where I know it's home

[ When there are troubles to go through
We'll find a way to start anew
There is comfort in the knowledge
That home's about its people too
So we'll build our dreams together
Just like we've done before
Just like the river which brings us life
There'll always be Singapore ]

Home - Kit Chan

Still everyone's favourite 'cause the lyrics are really just great. And Kit Chan's voice is just omg.

So yes, HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!

Thank you for being the best place to come home to. I truly am proud to be a Singaporean and there is truly no place I'd rather be at. I will want to type more but I think it's honestly quite clear how much I love Singapore. Haha! As in really. Singaporean through and through here.

Right now, my mind is in a whirl 'cause I have quite a few deadline to catch up. That's for slacking over the weekends. =( Supposed to have ended my internship but I extended 'cause okay, I couldn't finish some stuffs. And also, I didn't mind staying 'cause yea, I really like my company. My boss and all the colleagues. They are all really very nice and friendly people. Just that I'm the only intern staying back so that's not as fun 'cause yea sia, the rest all gone already. But okay ah, I still have my boss and many others around!

Internship has been pretty fun. I'm learning a lot. And I guess, I really need to find sometime next week to really just reflect properly and think through stuffs. I realise, I really need to just stay at home for one whole day to just gather my thoughts and prepare for school. School. Freaking hell not ready to go back to school.

These 3 months had been pretty great. Though the resting part wasn't much but I guess from now on, life's gonna be like that. Unless you are unemployed or a housewife. If not, it's really just busy non-stop. That's why I'm truly amazed by women with children and career. Like how do you manage it? It's seriously amazing.

Been quite awhile since I've updated here so getting a bit rusty. Okay lar, not really. It's just really thoughts all over the place. The past few months had really been a whirl. Many things just came at me without any warning and heads up. But I guess that's what makes life interesting.

And oh yes! I'm going for exchange as well!! Next year form January to June/July. Hence, life is honestly gonna be one crazy hell of a ride from here on. I'm quite scared as to what to expect but I'm pretty excited as well. But yes, truly need to learn how to manage time properly. And be more freaking organised. That's one of the few things I learnt from internship. I really need to be more organised and work fast. Think fast and really just force myself to step out of my comfort zone.

And I'm truly thankful for the people I've met along the way. I swear my boss is really the best. Like I really enjoy my work because of her. Though yes, there are times I feel that I fall short from her expectations but I sincerely do hope that I've managed to meet her expectations somehow. And yes, since this is the last week, or rather kinda last week, I really want to find out why she decided to choose me for the internship amongst all the other candidates. I think it's really quite interesting to find out why. Though yea, you really just hope that you delivered and met the expectations.

Okay yes, now back to work. But wah really need to up my game like mad. Procastination is really killing me sometimes. But I honestly am freaking thankful that I work freaking well under pressure. Like I won't break down. Okay, at least there are people who will support me even if I do break down so yes, I'm really thankful and blessed. 

people who got your back

Thank you HAHAHA

I realise, yea, I am really blessed with amazing people. People who really have my back and stand up for me. They are small gestures but not insignificant. Though yes, the cause isn't a great thing, but it's okay. That's how friendship works I guess. Sometimes you care too much to the point where you end up hurting each other more. Or end up saying stuffs that you don't really mean it. Or get frustrated over the most mindless things.

And worry. Worry about things that haven''t happened yet. I know that the future is pretty scary and unknown. And many things can change and I'm sure it definitely will change. But sometimes, we have to have stronger faith that despite all the changes, some things will still remain the same. If not, better. Even if it doesn't, it isn't the end of the world. People grow, life happens. Why worry so much about things that haven't happened yet when you can be instead enjoying the moment?

And while enjoying the present, truly enjoy it. Be present. When you meet up with people, enjoy the moment with them. Don't remember and harp on things that already happened. Because they were already gone. Holding grudges is some thing that I truly do not think anyone should be doing. True, sometimes you do it without knowing. I will be lying if I say I never hold grudges at all. But I'll make an effort to refrain from it. Because the only person who is unhappy when you hold grudges is yourself. So why make yourself unhappy?

I believe we decide what makes us happy. Fate and circumstances don't decide that for us. Yes, it's okay to feel sad and annoyed and angry at times. Because we are only human. We are supposed to feel all emotions. But always remember to get past those feelings after that. That life is truly more than that.

And always be thankful to the people who have got your back. Because as much as I hate to say it, it truly is rare to find them in this big big world. I know I am freaking blessed to have them in my life. So remember and don't ever take them for granted. Because freaking hell they are human too. They feel too. They are not robots. They don't do stuffs based on doing stuffs. They do stuffs because they want to. They get tired too. They are not obliged to do every single thing but they are doing it because they want to. And they also know that if they don't do it, no one else will. So appreciate them.

(I think I have some personal angst here but just go with it)

And I guess when you decide to do something, follow through with it. Don't stop halfway. It annoys me terribly because I know it's group effort and stuffs, but you don't just stop planning because you think you have already done your part. That that's it. I'm only contribute to this point, other people should contribute too. I mean yea, other people should contribute too. But at least follow through with it. Make sure that someone else is really contributing.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm just really glad that at the end of the day, I know there are people who will really support me and have my back. It may sound simple and stuffs. But it's truly a nice feeling when you know that there are people who will really stand up and look out for you. So yes, thank you for giving me your support.