Korea Trip Day 1

I shall attempt to blog about my 6 days in Korea~~~ (8 if you count the day we reach and the day we left. Haha!)

Saturday 4th May 2013

• Flight to Incheon Airport
• Incheon Airport to Honggik University Station
• Check in to our guesthouse - Hongdae Guesthouse

My sister fetched me to the airport with Feli~ Haha! She sent all of us off at the airport since she couldn't join us on the trip. Had simple lunch at Xin Wang with the rest of them and YL's family! Her cousin is super cute lar. Haha! Her whole family damn funny also.

 Mandate shot outside the Departure Hall! =D

This annoying woman who couldn't go for the trip. Tsk tsk. But ok, technically, she's the one losing out a lot. Haha!

Our passports~ Haha! And air tickets!! SQ~~~ =D

Had to wait for our flight until 2.30pm! We were like a bunch of super high and excited kids at the airport. Haha! And the airport is quite empty at that time. I think pple usually don't take day flight. So we were really running around and all. Haha! 

All our cool shoes with Lingli's sports shoes. HAHA! This girl is damn funny lar. She really rather comfort than anything else so she just wore sports shoes. Haha!

Final photo on the plane before we took off to Incheon Airport!!! =DD

I was so excited and happy to sit on the flight because there were a billion of movies and shows to watch lar!!! I wanted to die. Lol! Because there was really a lot of movies but limited time to watch. Haha! And and, the seat beside me was empty!!! HAHAHA! Damn shiok lar. My legs just went up and all comfortable naturally. Haha! And I had two pillows and two blankets. Heh. Yes, I really enjoyed my flight. =D And the last time I took SQ was to Japan in 2008. So that was about 6-7 years ago? Haha! So yes, I was very very excited. =D

And the food was good also!!! HAHA! I'm feeling all excited now while I recount about it. =D It was really an awesome flight. Haha! I watched Gangster Squad and 3 episodes of Modern Family. I think I watched one more movie but I forgot already. Lol! And watched a bit of Friends. I wanted to watch Sliverlining Playbook but I want to watch that movie with super good quality so I decided not to. Haha! Yes, I'm really an excited kid on the plane. Haha!

The view from the plane was awesome!! Because our flight was aftnoon flight, we managed to catch the sunset in the plane. =D Super pretty.

 

The sky always looks awesome when you are in the plane. =D

Haha! We tried to take a photo inside while it was around night time but it looked quite horrible. Haha! YL asked the air steward for a deck of cards and we played dai di! We were super restless all 'cause we were super excited. Haha! And ohya!! You can see the stars!!! Damn pretty!!! =D It's really super awesome lar. Haha! I like flights that has transition from day to night or night to day.

So at around 10plus PM, WE REACHED INCHEON INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT!!! =DDD

We look so happy~ Haha! And lol, we became all retarded and ran towards the immigration counter. And all the people there were staring straight down at us when we reached and all laughing and out of breath. HAHA! Yes, we kinda made a crazy fool out of ourselves but we were in another country where no one knew us so it's fine. =D

Hoodie!! And Mad jumping at the back. She is always jumping, that little kid. =D

Since Eun took this photo, I shall upload it. Haha! Me collecting my luggage. Haha! She wanted to take everyone taking their luggage but she only managed to take mine. Lol!

The subway station where our guesthouse is located near to!! And my hand. =D It's super convenient lar!! From the airport, we took a direct subway to the station straight! Just that it took about 30mins to 1 hour but it's fine. Haha! We saved so much money. =D Haha!

We really super budget for this trip. We travelled everywhere by the subway because it's really super convenient and the only time we took the cab was the last day from our guesthouse to the airport because we really had too many things to carry to the airport. Haha!

 T-Money! It works like Ezlink card so we all knew how to use it well. =D And it's so much nicer looking than our Ezlink card!!!

Us on the train~ It was really quite empty so lucky for us. Haha! And we can eat on the train!!! Lol! This I'm really happy about because we can't eat in the MRT in Singapore. Haha! I know it's something small but it feels nice to be able to eat when you want to. HAHA!

Us and our luggage~

Because Eun wanted to be special, so she sat opposite us.

She's really the most glam woman I have ever encounter. =D

We finally reached Honggik University Station!! I forgot what time we reached but I think it was really quite late? 1am plus I think. So from the station we had to walk quite a long way underground to reach our guesthouse!

Eun and Mad were competing with each other to see who runs faster with their luggage. Lol! Yes, the things they do. =D

We braved the cold outside and finally reached our guesthouse!! Hongdae Guesthouse!

Sharon, YL and I stayed outside while Eun and Lingli went to get the code and stuffs. Yes, we don't use keys! Haha! It's really the Korean kind of apartment where you type in the code to enter. HAHA! YESS I'm loving all these 'cause it's like coming into a Korean drama. HAHA!

And we went into our guesthouse!! Haha! It has two levsls!!! =DD I have a fetish for two levels stuffs. Haha! The photo above is the bottom floor and the photo below is the stairs leading up to the 2nd floor. HAHA! I think my excitement shows on my face. LOL!

I think we never really take a proper photo inside our guesthouse. Lol! Ok, more photos of it will show in the later posts I guess. Haha! But it was really a very comfortable place. We didn't make use of the 2nd floor though 'cause we figured that we should all sleep together and the first floor is more convenient.

Our heater! Haha! It looks super cute. =D

So that's about it for the first day. Lol! Even though this isn't official the first day but oh well. There is really too much to post already!!! So 2nd day shall be the official day when we got out to the streets of Korea~ Haha!

when old age catches up on you

From ages 7 to 11, almost every other Saturday of the week, I would go to my grandparents' house in the aftnoon for lunch and stayed all the way to the night with my grandparents cousins or just with my grandparents only. I would bring over my homework to do if I had, or a book to read. Times when my cousins were around, we would play together and stuffs.

At around 5pm, my grandfather would come into our playroom to find us and asked us to go to the park to stroll. The park near my grandparents' house just built up when I was in primary school so it was all new and exciting to all of us. Back then, scooter was the most "in" thing. Haha! So funny how scooter was really the most "in" thing then and we would all fight for the scooter. But yes, we are nice kids who take turns. Anyway, so yep, every Saturday evening, we would go to the park to stroll with our grandfather. Then we'll stop by at the playground to play while he continued to walk a bit further down.

There was once when I went out to the park with my grandfather alone. I think I was in 9 years old? I was on the scooter, so I rode quite a distance then rode back to find my grandfather as he continued walking. He walked quite far ahead while I turned back and then went back to find him again. Scooter was really like cycling. Lol! Back then, I was a loser who didn't know how to cycle so scooter was the best thing. Haha! Anyway, so there was this slope. And usually, I could scoot down the slope at fast speed without falling off the scooter. But that time, I think I lost control of it and I fell down when I reached the end of the slope. There is still a scar on my knee. So at that moment, all I can kinda do was cry. Lol! I know, 9 years old isn't that young anymore but you were alone and injured, and can't really get up and move. So the only thing you can think of was to cry 'cause it was painful too. Lol! My grandfather was pretty far ahead by then. And usually he won't look back because he knew that I would catch up to him soon and he didn't have to worry. So yes, I sat there and cry and this kind man came up to me and helped me. I kinda forgot what exactly happened but he helped me up and I think I told him which direction my grandfather was at or something. Lol! 10 years ago this happened so spare my memory.

So as I walked towards the direction my grandfather was at, I saw him from a distance and his face was pretty worried. And he saw me and hurried over. After that I just remembered him bringing me to the doctor straight. Lol! The rest were kinda a blur but yea, there's this scar on my right knee to remind me not to scooter down a steep slope. Which ok, obviously after a while, you aren't scared anymore. Lol!

But yea, this was a  memory I suddenly thought of when I saw my grandfather today. He was lying on the hospital bed, greatly weaken and he looks really frail. And he seems to be in a lot of pain. Seeing him like that breaks my heart. He used to be a healthy retired man, going to parks for walks and strolls with his grandchildren just a few years ago. As we grew older, we stop having time to go to our grandparents' house every Saturday. We only go once in a while and usually, we only go for lunch and either go out or go home. We won't stay at our grandparents' house until night and we won't go to the park to stroll with my grandfather in the evening. This, I pretty much regret. After awhile, my grandfather got bored of retirement and went back to work as a driver for those big trucks. I think that was when he started to have knee problems. So after he retired from that, he couldn't walk much because his knee was giving him problems. Strolling in the park was of course hard for him also.

This grandfather, he was really a healthy man. Now, he doesn't even have much strength to sit up properly. And it made me realise how as you grow older, even if you don't want to, your body slowly fails you. As much as you want to keep fit and healthy, somewhere, if you aren't careful, your body will fail you.

One thing I'm pretty thankful for is my grandmother because she is hell of a strong woman. I honestly believe that she is stronger than me. She will make it a point to keep herself healthy and occupied. She is really one woman who is leading the right healthy lifestyle as a senior citizen. I'm greatly thankful for. But today, when I saw her sitting by my grandfather's hospital bed, I can't help feeling heartache for her too. She really wasn't smiling for the longest time when I first came in. After awhile, she managed to break into small smiles as we talked. But really, it hurts me to see her looking so sad and worried. Because she is one woman who is strong like crazy. One woman who almost never get beaten down.

Tomorrow is the day when the report is out. The whole family kinda know what's happening to my grandfather except for my grandfather and grandmother. I don't know how they will both react to it. I really don't. I just hope that they will both have faith and keep the fight. I know my grandmother will but I'm not too sure about my grandfather. But I really really really do hope that he will keep the fight. Whatever he needs to fight against. He needs to fight for all of us. All his children, his grandchildren and his wife. He needs to fight for himself. Honestly, I don't know what's going to happen after. After the report comes out. I don't know what they will have to do and stuffs. But I really pray that whatever it is, it will be alright. Because, I really really want my grandfather to be around when I get married. It's a funny thing to wish for, but it's still something that I really want to, because this means that he will be around for a longer time.

presents from God

Haha! I'm still shaking from the all the excitement and happiness and stuffs. Today is really ahh. I realise yea, I am truly blessed by God. He really takes care of me even though I'm not diligent in following Him. Today, I really realise His power and how much I am really taken cared of by Him. All these wonderful presents I have from Him. And not just today. Everyday of my life, He is looking out for me and guiding me along. I am really really blessed.

Alright. So today was my driving test day. Finally after so many months. Haha! Reached there quite early since it's better to be on time. Had to wait though. But I guess the waiting actually helps somehow. Like calm the nerves after waiting for so long until you just want to get it over and done with. Haha! Had warm up session. It was with an instructor who never took me before so I guess it was good. At least I won't be at total comfort with him that kinda thing. Everything went on quite smoothly. Heh. Like all quite ok. Nothing much cropped up. So yayyyy. Haha!

Went back to the driving centre and had to wait for the actual test to start. Saw one of my past instructors and he waved at me in a damn cute way. LOL! He is quite small size so he really like some elf like that. Haha! But he really very nice. =D And he talks to me in Chinese somehow. Haha!

Anyway so waited for the test to start all. And I got hungry since I kinda only drank orange juice for lunch. LOL! Went to get seaweed chicken at the cafeteria there. Went up to the waiting area to wait somemore. Haha! Yes, today was really a lot of waiting but all worth it. =D

My tester called my name and we went down to the car that I was supposed to drive in! So yep! Started the test and all~ Haha! And lol, the tester kinda coughed quite loudly that the first time he coughed, I got a bit of shocked. Lol! But of course, I never show it obviously and all and drive per normal. =D Everything went on quite smoothly and all~ Even though got slight drizzle. Haha! Luckily I had a recent lesson where it rained quite heavily so I was prepared. =D

Went back to the driving centre and went up to the waiting area to wait for my result again. But yep! I felt good after the test so I was alright. I think my batch got quite a lot of people didn't pass though. 'Cause a lot of the testers had to sit down and explained the mistakes to the people they tested. My tester came in and just passed me my results and told me to go down and watch video. LOL!

So yes!!!! I PASSED~~~~ HAHA! I didn't expect myself to be so happy but I really was super happy. When I walked out of the room, I can't help smiling to myself. And then I was kinda hoping happily down the stairs. Heh. I think I look like some happy fool but I don't care. =D It really felt nice. Haha! Called my mum and shared the good news with her. She was around the area so she said to come pick me up. =D

Watched the video, which was quite gross 'cause they showed us photos of real accidents and stuffs. Like the body lying on the road with blood and all and yep, it's honestly quite gross. Went up to get my license! Haha! They will mail my actual license to my house within a month! But I can still drive as long as I have the probation plate on the car and I think the white paper? I'll just bring it all along in case. Heh.

SO YESSSSSSS ONE GOOD NEWS THAT CAN ALREADY MAKE MY DAY AND MAKE ME A VERY VERY HAPPY GIRL. HAHA! But yes, I'm really blessed 'cause there's more.

My mum drove me home and she needed to pass something to her friend on the way so I accompanied her. While waiting for her friend to come, we were sitting on the car and just talking and stuffs. Then she said that maybe SMU got back to me already and maybe they accepted me today also. So I decided to check my email for the sake of it. No harm checking anyway. Haha! So I opened my email and then I saw the subject "SMU Admissions". And I just stun there. And wah, that feeling was really surreal. I went, "MUMMY!!!" LOL! Seriously. Then my mum gave the super shock expression also. So I hurriedly went to the self applicant page thing and check if it was for real.

And yes, it's real. I'VE GOT ACCEPTED INTO SMU ECONOMICS!!!! Haha! I really really wah, it's honestly too surreal. I'm just like I don't know what to make out of it.

Haha! And luckily I checked? 'Cause I was just about to apply to SIM University of London and the application fees was $74.90. So I could have wasted that money if I applied there in the morning. Haha! 'Cause yea, I honestly kinda gave up hope that SMU will accept me somehow. But yep, turns out that they didn't Haha!

So my mum and I said for fun to buy 4D. Haha! Since I had so much luck that day and might as well that kinda thing. LOL! And since I never buy 4D before. And ok, I kinda anyhow buy 'cause I really have zero clue how to buy. I just anyhow said and just pay. Haha! My mum say to buy my IC number. I don't know why but yes I just bought my IC number. Haha!

So yes, today is really an amazing day. I've got my driving license and a university to go to for the next 4 years. =) These are really presents from God. I know that I'm really horrible. Only times when I'm sad or very happy that I remember to thank Him or ask Him for help. But yes, today, I really see His power and I cannot thank Him enough. And yes, I realise that it's important to trust in God. Because nothing will go wrong when you trust Him.

I'm still giddy with excitement all. Haha! Today is just an amazing surreal day. And I just pinched myself in case it's all a dream and it hurts so it's all real. Haha! Ok I sound quite retarded but seriously man, after last week, today just feels so out of the world somehow. Lol!

And met up with Faeqa, Swap and Feli for dinner today! Though we never really ate and just met up for awhile. Haha! But yes, I am honestly thankful to many people. Them and many other people. Haha! You know who you are! People who support me in their ways, people who prayed for me, people who really have my back and help me in anyway possible. Thank you really. Whoever you are, as long as you are reading this, it shows that you care. Haha! Since lol, my blog isn't very known so only my good friends know about this. =D But yes, you all are really important and yea, thank you for being here for me.

And all you who helped me with my appeal~ Haha! I honestly appreciate it a lot alot even though I should have told you guys earlier that it's ok. Haha! But yes!! Love you guys for taking time to read it and help me edit it and stuffs.

And my sister!!! She is really awesome. Haha! Ok, she is my sister after all. If she doesn't help me, who will? But yes, she's really patient with me these few days even though I was being a total bitch. She could have so easily scold me for behaving like that but she didn't because she knows that I was already having a bad time and didn't need additional scolding. So yes, thankyou for being such an awesome sister.

My parents of course. Haha! My mum was really really careful around me for the past few days. Haha! I think she is really scared that I will just break down and cry randomly somehow. And my dad for just having faith and believing that it will all be alright. Haha! Ah, I am seriously crazy thankful now.

But yes, I realise that everything will really work out eventually as long as you don't give up hoping. And believing that it will be alright. Of course, along the way, you must take action and look for alternatives and not just wait for things to happen. Because yes, life isn't that easy. Sometimes, you need to fight harder to get to the place where you want.

Even though I've got acceptance to SMU Econs, this doesn't mean that life will be all easy and simple from now on. Things may get harder in uni and to be true, I really have no idea what to expect from now on. I just know that from now on, I must really work harder and fight for the things I want. And yes, I cannot give up because I know how precious this acceptance is and I should really make the most out of it.

For those who haven't get acceptance, really don't give up. I know it's really really very bleak now but yea, just be patient and look for alternative as well. Keep an open mind and not limit your options because you may actually excel in something that you didn't think you will excel in and things may go smoothly for you ultimately. So don't give up. It may seems easy for me to say this since I've already got an acceptance and all but honestly don't give up.

I almost nearly did give up so many times last week and this week. My mum was saying how my mood really crazy off for the past few days. I think I was really down and everyone around me can sense it even if I don't show it explicitly. But yea, I never give up completely. Even though I felt bleak about SMU accepting me, I was still hoping that they give me a positive reply. Alright, to be true, lol, I really didn't expect them to accept me so it was really a pleasant surprise and all today. Hence, I was so happy. Haha! But yea, I still tried my best to keep a positive mindset and look into other alternatives like SIM and other private unis. My mum was crazy positive as always.Haha! Which I am very thankful for to.

Anyway, all I want to say is that just don't give up. Keep trying and all. Don't just sit and wait for something to happen because it won't just happen. I think I'm really very very naggy too. Lol! I really need to learn to cut down on my words. Yes!! I'll make the most out of these few weeks. Really need to brush up on everything. Refresh my econs knowledge too. Lol!

Keep the faith and good things will come along for you. Believe that things will work out ultimately. It may not work out in the way that you initially wanted but at least it will work out in a different way but it will still work out. Take control of your life and just believe that it will all be alright.

And yes, I am really very grateful for everything that happened today. And everything that happened throughout my whole life. LOL! With all the many setbacks, there is always a comeback and I'm really glad that things are finally taking a good turn and that I can finally be at ease now. And before I go Malaysia too. Haha! Going Malaysia tmr until next week! Not very sure when I'll be back but yep, at least I can go with ease and not worry so much anymore. And hopefully drive. Hehe. I actually went all the way to Jurong to get the probation plate (triangle plate) from Sharon just so that I can start driving soon. Heh. Thankyou Sharon for loaning it to me!! =D

I'm so exciting for my first drive out on the open road in my own car. =D Ok, my parents' car but still. Haha! And I really can't wait to drive my friends too. HAHA! Yes, I complain and say that I won't drive them but of course I will lar. I've got something for me to show off, of course I will show off. =D

This has been a long and wordy post but it's a happy post. Haha! With a very happy me. So here's a photo of me. HAHA! And thankyou for bothering to read this long long post. whoever you are. =)

HAHA! This was taken quite awhile back but I was wearing this tshirt today as well. I think it's my lucky tshirt. Heh. And I think it's my happy tshirt too 'cause I always feel happier whenever I wore this shirt. =D Ok maybe it's just all in my head but I believe that it does matter somehow. Haha! Stitch how cute!! Of course happy when you see him smiling back at you when you look at the mirror. HAHA! OK I think I sound quite crazy. I'm honestly still shaking and feeling giddy with excitement.

Today was really an amazing day. =)

I was looking through my sent emails (I don't know why I was actually looking at my sent emails) and I came across the first photos I submitted to Photog in 2011. For the admission to photog. HAHA! The theme was "Red, Blue, Yellow", which is the same theme since a few years back and we also used it when we were excos too. HAHA! Keep up with tradition ma.

Anyway, saw the 3 photos that I submitted and to be true, they weren't fantastic. Haha! As in seriously. But I just suddenly remember how I was so stressed up over it. LOL! I think I really stress myself up for no reason. And I doubt my own abilities a lot. I remembered stressing about those 3 photos and going around to take the photos. And asking my friends for help. Haha! And yes, asking my friends which 3 photos I should choose for submission. And mind you, this was just to get into Photog. LOL! Which we realised that it was actually very easy. Haha! As in yea lar, they just have this for the sake? It's like as long as the photo look somewhat decent. Doesn't need to be fantastic but decent. 'Cause heh, that was how we judged the juniors' photos during our time as exco.

So yes, I got in Photog and then another round of stressing when I apply for photog exco. Haha! I really suck in life lar. Lol! Giving myself unnecessary stress. But yes, looking back, I'm so glad that I made the decision to join photog, to sign up for exco. Because yes, being part of the AC Photog Soc and exco com was really one of the best experience in AC for me. It may seem little and insignificant, but it is very significant to me and I really enjoyed it.

I really miss photography. I used to be so crazy about taking photos and stuffs. Ok it's usually full of unglam photos but I call it "candid and natural shots". =D Haha! I kinda miss that crazy spamming kid with the camera in her hands. Everyone hated me with the camera. Haha! Ok lar, some are nice to pose for me but doesn't allow candid shots. =D I guess, I really need to go out there and start shooting again. It's been awhile. Haha! As in I still take photos of people and stuffs all but there is some difference kinda. Haha! But yes, people are actually the ones I like to shoot the most actually. Haha! Korea!!! It's really so awesome there. I'm biased but whatever lar. =D

And yep, finding confidence back. I really ought to have greater faith in myself and push myself and not just wait around for things to happen or wait around for help to come to you. I really need to do stuffs now. Grab hold of this life and just honestly do whatever I can.

Still many things I haven't post yet. Haha! Korea and many other stuffs. I should start posting about meet up with people too 'cause the meet ups recently all felt really really nice. HAHA! Probably because I haven't see all of them for a long time. 

Blessed

"When you haven't meet some pple for a very long time and you finally meet them, you'll feel this damn happy and glad that you can still meet them like that after so long and come to realise how lucky and blessed you are to have such amazing people in your life. And no matter how sad and down you might have been for the past few days and even on that day itself, something just warms in your heart and you can't help feeling happy again."

Haha! This was something I thought about yesterday night at 3am before I went to sleep.

And yes, I know that I really am truly blessed with many amazing people in my life. Friends who are crazy important in your life. Friends who will stuck by you through it all. Friends who may not be around you always but they will think of you from time to time. Friends who honestly root for you and want the best for you too. Friends who make you laugh and bring a smile to your face. Friends who are just true. Friends who matter. I'm glad that I have such friends.

And yes, of course family. They are really the support system that I need the most. And the ones who will hold me strong even when I'm falling. The ones who really just give me strength to carry on. Lately, I've been quite bad to my mum and my sis I think. =/ my dad wasn't in Singapore so he was lucky. Haha! My mood really super off at home for the past few days. I guess, it's the only place where I can just be sad and angry and not feel bad about it. Lol! Though yes, I feel bad now 'cause I think I really made them quite worried and not know what to do. And how I really just PMS my sister randomly. I don't even know why. I guess all the frustrations just set in place and being all lost and confused and just wanting to hate the world. Haha! 

But yes, I'll be alright. At the end of the day, it's me. Haha! I'm Yi Fang after all. I don't allow myself to wallow in sorrows and hate life. Because (quoting from a friend) there is "always a light at the end of the tunnel so you don't stop in the dark just because you're feeling hopeless! Keep walking yeah~"

Haha! Yes I'll keep walking. Even if I'm not exactly sure where I'm heading to, at least I'm moving forward instead of staying status quo. 

what's next

Honestly, it's not like I didn't expect this. But I guess when everyone keeps saying that it will be alright, that they will accept you, that you will go in somewhere, after awhile, you believe them. And then when the cold hard truth comes, and you realise that you didn't get anything, and that what everyone said isn't true, you can't help feeling very crushed. I know it's my own fault for thinking that it will all be alright. But this feeling right now really sucks. And the worse thing is that it's really just one bloody subject. If all my subjects sucks, that's fine. It won't suck that much. But it's really just one subject. How am I supposed to accept this? 

The cold hard truth that GP is really important. Even if you did reasonably alright for other subjects, no one cares. Especially if you want to study in humanities subjects. Maybe I don't know. I honestly don't know anymore. I just feel so handicapped. Like I really cannot do anything about my grades and stuffs. I can't do anything abt what happened in my Jc years to make them want to reconsider me.

I really feel like running away and just run away and not give a damn about everything. Because really, when you put in effort to something, you hope and expect that it will be alright. And when it doesn't, it just sucks. I don't even know what to do now. I have no special talent whatsoever. I have nothing to show so where's this going to leave me?

I know that at least I still haven't get the rejection from one school yet. But the chances of acceptance is pretty bleak as well. And honestly, I know that the only person to blame in all this is myself. It's really my own fault for getting the grade that I got. It's my own fault for this feeling now. It's my fault for thinking that I will get in somewhere. For being confident over nothing. For thinking that everything will be alright because it isn't. Yes, there is still appeal and all but I really feel like giving up. What is there for me to freaking show? What have I done that will want them to accept me again? Nothing. I have nothing to show. 

Why is it so hard just to get to uni? If it's already so hard, isn't uni going to be harder? Right now, I just want to get in somewhere. Because yes, I know that if I haven't got much options, I need to work hard. And I think I work harder after setbacks. Sometimes. I don't really know anymore. Somehow, I think I really lost some parts of me in those two years in JC. Parts that I don't think I'll find back again. 

I guess getting rejection twice isn't easy. But I didn't know that it will hurt this bad. I guess yea, I stupidly believe that an acceptance will come. Stupidly believe that somewhere will accept me. Now that I have two rejections, I really don't know anymore. I don't know what to believe and what not to believe. I do know that I need to write a damn good appeal to let them reconsider me. But it seems like an impossible feat. I really have nothing to show. Yes, 19 years of living, nothing I can use to make myself be reconsidered. Awesome huh.

I really feel like running away from everything. Find some solace. Take a break from everything.

remember

Because sometimes you really feel like throwing in the towel and just give up. It's like what's the point of trying and trying when you don't seem to be getting anywhere.

But I guess, yes, we must always remember why is it that we continue to keep trying and trying in the first place. Even though it seems really tough and bleak now, as long as we keep trying, we will get there someday. And even if it's not there, we will get to some place. As long as we know that we gave in our very best shot and never give up.

Today morning, I really feel like giving up and just forget about everything and just heck it. Because it is so easy to just heck it. But I know that even though it's easy, it will be a decision that I will regret next time. So for now, I'll just do whatever I can. Even if it's hard, even if it seems like you can't get anywhere, just don't give up. Once you give up, you really have nothing else.

We will get there

Met up with this Lim Ka Min just now. HAHA! I'm blogging because I'm supposed to make use of my time wisely before my driving lesson. Lol! And because I don't want upload the photos on Facebook. Heh.

Anyway, had Mac with her for lunch at Jcube! I was late. Heh. Ok lar. No surprise there. Haha! I was lazy to get out of hse. My laziness is best lar. 

Went to Starbucks aft that because we almost always go Starbucks when we meet. Heh. Green Tea Latte~ =D I made her try White Chocolate Mocha Hot. And the cup damn cute. Got thankyou one. LOL!

Took photos because the lighting was good. =D and later she complains that we didn't take photo. Haha! 

I like her in this photo~ took it while she was laughing. HAHA! Nice what! It's natural lor.

LOL! I don't know what we were trying to achieve out of this photo. Haha! We tried to take but aiming a bit fail ar. And we look crazy white. =D 

And now you can't even see us. Lol!

Made her tie up her hair. Haha! She looks damn retarded here actually. =D 

In my attempt of trying to have the same large eyes as Stitch. Lol! I realise my face naturally looks retarded when I try to open my eyes bigger. Ah well. 

Good chillax time with Kamin~ haha! It's really always nice to meet her and just sit and talk. Forever there is stuffs for us to talk about one. Both our busy lives. Haha! 

And yes!!! We will both get good news this week ok!! Honestly praying hard that we will both get somewhere for uni. Even if we really don't, I'm sure we will figure something out. =) 

I realise our tshirts colour combi is nice. Haha! =D