There are some days in life where you want to remember the moment forever. Today is such a day. But for reasons I don't know. And somehow I don't think I will rmb what was so special about today when I look back in the future. If I do look back. HAHA 

I think I'm really a person who holds on to friendship quite easily? Or rather I can't exactly let go of a friendship easily. I don't really know how to say this. But once I regard a person as a considerably good friend, someone I can be comfortable with, I will want to continue to build on the friendship if I can. And I will feel sad or disappointed if the friendship falters after awhile. Like once a person reaches that good friend stage, it's damn hard for me to u-turn kinda thing. 

Sounds really strange I swear. But yes ah, I'm really a hoarder. When it comes to things or friendship. I'm not saying it's a good thing or a bad thing. It's just, there are times I have to realize and rmb that yea, as much as you wish to meet up with your friends often, you can't exactly do that because yea, you still have a life to live and family and everything else. So yeaas, I guess, I really hold quite high value on friendship. 

Sigh. Honestly don't know what exactly I'm talking about. But I guess all these things I'll figure them out soon. Hopefully.  

the good in humanity

As much as this seems to ring true right now, I would still like to believe that despite all the hurt and pain, there is still hope, love and faith.

The world seems to be in a mess right now. And there is a limit to what we can do. But I guess what's really important for us is to not lose faith in humanity. That there are still more good than evil. Remembering that majority of the people in the world are good.

In times of trials is when you see the good in people, and how people are mostly good. All the hurt and pain are temporary but this kindness and love and hope in people are real and here to stay.

To be honest, I really don't know how exactly to feel and say about all these events, but I do know that somehow, things will get better eventually. It's scary to think about the possibility that the war on terrorism gets worse in the future. Living in fear. I really cannot imagine how those people in those war-torn countries must be feeling daily. The refugees and their thoughts. You would think that in this day and age, such acts would not be tolerated and would be stop but there is more to this. Where to draw the line between sovereignty and human rights. Sometimes you question so much and you have no answers for them.

And sometimes you feel really frustrated because you know that you are seeing and hearing all these things happening but you can't exactly do anything about it. But I guess all I can do it pray for all these people and pray that these acts will be stop. Pray for wisdom in world leaders managing these conflicts. Pray for the innocent people to be able to get out of all these conflict and live a normal life. Pray that those inflict hurt and pain can somehow resolve their anger and seek comfort in something else instead of harming innocent lives.

Remember the good in all humanity. 

There are times in life where you just want to get a hug from your parents. Today is such a day. But they aren't in Singapore. And idk somehow I just really miss them more. I have no idea how I'm gonna survive exchange. But okay I'm actually way stronger and independent than I think I am so I know I'll be fine. 

It's just yea, some nights you really just wish you have your parents with you. I have my sister. But she's really too tired. I realize yea, I'm really still very much dependent on my parents so I have no idea how I'm gonna start making a living for myself in a few years time. That thought kinda scares me. 

But again, right now is not exactly the best time to think about such stuffs so yes, I know I'll be fine eventually. I just need stronger self control and remember that you are really blessed with many amazing people in your life. Remember these people who care about you instead of those who don't. We tend always to care more about those who don't care. So Yi Fang, remember those who care. These people exist and are very much there. You are really not alone.

weird kids

I think this post is gonna be used against me someday in the future but it's k. USE IT THEN sheesh.

But okay lar, honestly mad thankful to have these strange kiddos in my life. I seriously love how we really try our best to sing a simple happy birthday song but it always failed. HAHA Our coordination, or lack thereof, is the best. That's why BFC lar ah.

But wah, first time seeing so many faces on Skype and Google Hangout HAHA and both these cap the number of participants at 10 sheesh. Sorry our group big. Hence we have 2 screenshots for Changhui's bday 'cause we had full strength hehe.

This one is for Shaohao's birthday. HAHA Effort sia. Syncing 4 timezones is mad but so proud of us for actually being able to do it. We suck most of the time but times like these, we completely rule. Hehe. 

So okay, this isn't much of a very sweet post 'cause I think I've said too damn lot of nice stuffs about these people already but yes, truly very blessed to know that no matter where I am or will be, how old I become, there will be 10 idiots here who will always be there in my life somehow. 

future

Typing this out to remind myself that there are so many things to do in this world. That all those worries about things that are not happening are actually not important at all. Yes, you want to find a good job, you want to get married and have a family of your own. But if all these plans don't go your way, if somehow life just don't go the way you intended to, it's okay. Because there are so many more other alternatives. There is always another way, another plan.

I still believe that God has His master plan for my life. That yes, I just really have to trust in Him and have faith that He will guide me to where I am supposed to be. The purpose of my life and my living. Lately, many thoughts are running through my head and I guess I just need to stop worrying and being upset that some things are not exactly going the way I wanted it to. Some things are just not within my control. And even if it is, I guess some part of me will know it. That yea, I will have a stronger conviction in fighting for it. Things that are worth fighting for.

So yes, I have to be stronger and remember that my purpose in life is not fixated in just one area. I believe that we are all meant for great things in life. In one way or another, big or small. I mean yea, that's why we are here on earth right? We don't just exist. There is a purpose and I'm sure we will find that purpose eventually.

Just keep the faith and trust that everything will truly fall into place ultimately. Patience as to what will come your way. 

most important

Still my favourite photo of them ever. Heh. Ok, that's because I took this photo but I really think it's still a very nice photo. I should probably develop this for them soon. Show off my proud work. HAHAH But okay, I swear this egoistic thing truly runs in the blood. My parents are freaking self praising people too. So yes, that's why I'm their daughter ah.

Anyway, the purpose of this post isn't to diss them but to truly praise them. Because today I just got reminded of how freaking lucky I am to have them as my parents and I truly want to somehow grow up faster, get a good paying job and go travelling with them. Because I realise that they are not getting any younger but they are still working freaking hard just so that my sister and I can get the best. Of course, they are working hard for their own retirement as well because they don't want to rely on us. Which honestly, they are crazy because they can completely rely on us in the future. But you see, these two people here are just selfless. I'm not just saying it because they are my parents but their personalities are truly selfless. Whatever they do, they will always think about other people. Yes, they will think about themselves too but from what I see, they are always looking out for others, helping others to become better.

But it truly sucks how they are so busy now and working so hard. I really want to help them but my abilities are limited. Which yes, I know I should help them more in ways that I can so I am going to do my best. Because yes, I realise they are always crazy supportive of whatever I do. And they will always assure me to go pursue whatever I want. Take this exchange for instance, I am legit worried about money issues 'cause let's face it, Europe is expensive. But today my dad was telling me to not worry about the money issue and just have fun. Just enjoy my time there and yes, they will work hard to earn the money for me. And it sucks. 'Cause I feel truly like a burden for having to rely on my parents for money. I know, I'm studying and not earning much so it kinda makes sense that they will be the ones to sponsor this trip. And yes, I know that I will pay them back in the future. But when you see how hard they have to work to ensure that our family lives a considerably comfortable life, your heart will just ache. I want them to stop travelling so much but their job kinda requires them to travel. I want to accompany them in their travels but I'm bounded by school and everything else. And yes, money issues as well. And times like these I really wish that somehow I am earning money too and providing for the family so that they don't have to work so hard.

Though I'm quite used to them travelling and stuffs, it still gets quite lonely in the house sometimes. Like there are times when I will really miss them. Yes, I'm really still very much a child that needs my parents. Needy youngest ah. And I guess yea, knowing that I am twenty-one already but still very much dependent on them isn't a great feeling. I know that I shouldn't be thinking of it as that but it would really be great to see them enjoy their life and work lesser. One very heart-aching thing is when you see them ageing. And the scariest thing about my parents is that they look young but they are actually not. And that's when we get a bit complacent because sometimes looking at them you will really forget that hey, they are getting older too. Because yes, as you get older, they too get older.

"When we are young, we think our parents will always be there. After we grow up, as we watch them age and grow frail, we know rationally that one day we will have to say farewell, yet emotionally we find it hard to imagine it happening. Then one day our parents are really gone, and so we are left with a sense of loss and pain. That is the human condition."

This was an extract from Lee Hsien Loong's eulogy for Lee Kwan Yew and yes, it's something that I really cannot see myself going through. I am very much reliant on them and yea, though I know that one day, I will have to say farewell but the thought of it is just something that I don't even want to think about.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm truly blessed to have these two people as my parents. They are dorks sometimes but they are my favourite dorks. And yes, I'm a horrible child who gets angry and annoyed at them over the smallest stuffs but they are always strangely understanding. I come to realise that as your parents get older, they start to demand lesser from you for fear of being burdens to you. But guys, you all are the supposed to be burden to your children. Or rather, it really is our responsibility to take care of you guys when you are older. That's for taking care of us when we were young.

So yes, I will keep my promise to earn lots of money and bring you guys around the world. Just promise me to stay healthy and fit to do so for the next 50 years to come. 

Things I learn while studying for Social Psychology. Haha! It's really a super interesting mod and I actually really enjoyed reading the textbook. Generally, I like all my modules this sem. They are all very interesting and rewarding. Okay, probably except for the econs one. But I guess every sem you need to have one math based mod to have a balance of some sort. To remember that I am still holding an economics degree, not that I'm actually pursuing that direction as of now but you know like in case I suddenly realise I like economics (Yea right).

Anyway, but yes, this sem has been actually good so far? In terms of like my studies. Which is very weird I swear 'cause it's my most busy sem ever. I think it's the nature of the modules? Generally stuffs that I like more. But yes, I still need to catch up with a lot of readings and what not. But they are interesting so that's good.

And hehe still super proud of our facilitation. For my Training & Development mod, everyone will have to do a facilitation with 2 other group members. So ours was online employee orientation. So we did online icebreakers through Facebook and made videos and employee slides. And wah the response was super positive and active. I think our class was very supportive also. Like really mega thankful and I'm still feel very happy and satisfied with it. Haha! Hopefully the main project also ah. But I think HR is really for me somehow. Like I legit enjoyed myself doing the video and coming up with the online icebreakers. Like I really very excited. Haha! And ok yes, very proud of myself also. Heh. Like with the video 'cause in the past I usually day a few days to finish but this time I took 8hours? For a 5 minute video, I think it's really not bad. Heh. And yes the icebreakers also. Like I'm honestly quite proud that I actually thought of the idea of using this website to create collage and introduce themselves using the photos on the collage.

Okay, I guess I'm just really glad that I can see myself improving? Like becoming better at doing stuffs. Like powerpoint slides also. I was really damn happy. Like I can do it fast and good. Usually it takes very long to do it good. But somehow this time it was different. So yea, like I can see myself improving as compared to last time. So yes, I'm just really happy ah.

But yes, I still think HR is really somehow for me. Like I legit like doing stuffs like that. It's more fun ah I feel. And it's not as if it doesn't value add also. It helps employees. Who are the assets of the company. Heh.

Alright, I think it's time for me to get back to studying. And packing my stuffs. And planning exchange. And many more. There are really a lot A LOT of things to do that its crazy ah. 

all I know

[ And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies
The beautiful kind, making up for lost time,
Taking flight, making me feel right
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now ] 

Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift Feat. Ed Sheeran

Truly can't wait for exchange and take really great photos. Heh. And of course travelling around really beautiful places. First, need to find some time to really plan everything. It's scary thinking about all the planning that needs to be done but okay, I'm still more excited than scared.

Also, miss those days where you really just relax and don't have to worry about anything much. Just doing stuffs because you want to. And enjoying each moment. Kinda miss internship though I'm sort of still on internship. Haha! But it's different though 'cause now it's just tiring having to go sch on 3 days and work on 2 days. I think I'm crazy but I guess it really forces me to manage my time better. Though I'm still quite horrible at doing that so good luck to me ah.

I just hope that this sem would be alright. Somehow. There are really just so many things going on that I'm legit confused sometimes. Hard to even keep up with my own life. Ok not really, it's just legit exhausting though.

OHYA I COMPLETED NITEBIKE!! HAHAH honestly quite proud of myself 'cause the last time I exercised was very very long ago. I wanted to run for the past few weeks to prepare my body for Nitebike but of course, me being me, I say only. Hence, I really didn't train at all. So yes, my thighs truly hurt during and after Nitebike. But I still completed it~ Haha! Yes, honestly quite proud of myself. And super thankful for my group which is actually just 5 of us (Feli, Swe, Gab, YX) plus 2 GLs 'cause everyone else dropped out. HAHA So okay lar, it's really quite fun 'cause it's with people I know and can be a burden to. I think I legit was the burden of the group but okay lar, they are really great people and honestly very reassuring to cycle with them. =D

Time, patience, fate. Keep calm, don't rush. Let's see what happens.