I thought I put my foot down to it.

I wanted to post that I'm putting my foot down to doing it. I think I will, and I think I really should. Just that, you know how sometimes you happen to see stuffs and can't help going back on your own word again?

I'm feel like I'm doing this dance where you put your left foot in and out, your right foot in and out. It's supposed to be a fun dance, but I'm really not enjoying it. I don't want to go back on my own word again and again. It's getting really tiring.

I didn't know that this will get so tired. But I guess it does when you had been thinking about it for the past many months. When it just pops out and annoy you even though you don't want to think about it. I want to end this but I don't know how.

I'm going to just do it. I must. And I will. I just hate how things always never seem to go according to how I plan it. Lol. I wanted to end all these before 2012. A fresh start, a fresh mind. Though of course it will still be there but it's sort of a conclusion before 2012? But I can't. And it's damn annoying. So sometimes, you really shouldn't plan so much and just do it first. And then decide accordingly. You need to be flexible and react on the spot. 'Cause planning too much may end up bad, or worse, you don't even carry out the plan at all in the end.

But yes, I'm doing it. I'm going to just do it. Don't think. You think enough already. Be rash. Be brave. Things will be fine. Even if it doesn't, so be it. Maybe it's just how things are supposed to be. We have to lose some to gain more sometimes. It may not be very worth it to lose this, but I'm just going to give it a try. And actually, I don't think I'll lose it. Just that the scared feeling is just there.

Losing this, is what's stopping me from doing it about 11 months ago. I'm not going to do it again. It's really too long and I think it's only fair to me? I'm being selfish but I really can't help it. Ahhhhhh.. I shall stop typing or else I'll go on forever.

On a side note, I'm really really really thankful to have just really great pple around me. They just really understand and be here for me. They make me laugh and smile all, even if they aren't always with me 24/7. With them around, I'm grateful, I'm contented, I'm happy.

Surprise me.