I feel like giving up.

But who can say what’s best? That’s why you need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. My experience tells me that we get no more than two or three such chances in a life time, and if we let them go, we regret it for the rest of our lives.

Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

What if somehow, you just don't see the chance given to you when it's right in your face? What if you are that blind to not see that what you want is just right before your eyes? What if because of your blindness, you missed the chance, and never have a second one? What if you didn't even know the chance given right in front of you, missed it and is still wondering when will you have your chance, when will it be your turn? How can we not let go of the chance when we don't even see them? Then how will we know when we are given a chance?

I feel like giving up. On photography, on studies, on waiting for something nice to happen. I think I really was given a chance, or chances, but I missed them. It's either I'm too blind or too scared. And I just let go of it. I'm not sure if I will be given a chance again because I really don't see one coming and it's really sad? I don't know. I want something yet I don't want. I am never sure. I never knew what I wanted.

Frankly speaking, I really don't think I will make a good career out of photography. My love for it is one thing, my ability to do it is another. I highly doubt I will be able to make it in the industry. Just look at the photos I take. They really suck.

Spoilt a tripod and so many thoughts come racing into my head. It's as if they are on a race, and the prize is to make me all down and negative. I really have a problem of thinking too much and linking too much. Stupid tripod.