sorting out everything

I like this photo~ =D Taken by Lingli. Haha! My hair was that long last time! It's now really short but yes, I don't mind short hair actually. Ok actually, I just need to take care of my hair. LOL! It will be nice whether long or short if I actually take care of it. But ok, I like this photo 'cause I look cool taking photos. HAHA!

Anyway, this week had been a busy week. A long yet short week, with lots of ups and downs, and a lot, a lot of talking. I talked to quite a lot of pple this week. By talking I meant the long talk, the talking besides the normal usual conversations. And I guess, it really does feel better when you talk to pple. It may not necessarily make you feel happier but it makes you realise a lot of things and talking it out always makes you feel better.

But yes, after all these talking and stuffs, there must always be a time to sort out all the thoughts and everything from all the talking. And I know, I'm not exactly sorting out yet. I guess, some stuffs I sort them out already, but there are still some things that just aren't sorted out yet and I think some part of me isn't doing anything to sort it out 'cause I'm running away from it. I guess, I just don't want to feel this lost feeling when I finally realise that what I have been wanting to do since p5 may not be what I actually will do in the future. The future, it's scary. Even though I have a target, even though I have a goal, it still feels blurry. I know I really want it. I really want to do this. I have been wanting to do it ever since P5. And it stuck on. True, it did left for awhile, but it came back. And I dunno, I just feel positive that I will really enjoy doing it and like my job. But the thing is, I'm really not good at it. And I'm not exactly doing anything much to improve or anything. I bring my camera out with me often but it's not as if I will always take and practice taking nice photos. My photos are really kinda bad. Maybe 'cause I'm looking at the technical aspects. I'm really not good with the technical aspects and I really should learn but I'm not doing it. So yes, all the thinking but no doing.

I had been telling pple that they should not think only and should do. Thinking won't go anywhere 'cause the thoughts will only stay in your head. Doing is what makes all the difference. Actions speaks louder than words. That is very true. Sometimes, I think I don't listen to the advices that I gave pple when I need those advices too. I know, but I don't listen to myself. Strange huh.

I should really start doing and stop thinking too. Do something. Don't sit and wait and think you have all the time in the world 'cause you seriously don't. I need to brush up on my English as well. AHHHHHH. Once again, time sucks. I seriously feel like I'm running out of time even though it's just the freaking 2nd week of school. Felt like many weeks had passed.

But yes, I will pull through this year. And I will do something I like. Just have faith in myself and the thing is, my parents already give me their support so I don't really have to worry so much about that. I seriously am grateful to God for having such supportive and understanding parents. I must really do them proud.

Focus and keep my head in this. Plan out how I want to go about achieving what I want. And yes, another thing about doing all the social work and stuffs. I really want to do social work stuffs in the future. Now too if I can find time. I really want to contribute and do something meaningful and worthwhile. I'm glad that I did have the opportunity even though it was rather short. Yunnan OCIP was really worthwhile and I gained so much more from it. Experiences and things that I will never forget. It's always nice to help out somehow. It's nice to give. I just think yea, I really need to be more outspoken. Dare to speak out and all. It's something that I just still can't fully do. Don't count close friends 'cause they are your close friends for a reason. I need to dare to speak out my thoughts and not hold back.

Ahh, there is really a lot that I need to do. I think I should really sit down and plan it out properly. If not I really feel like I'm going about aimlessly. The only aim I sort of have now is just to do well for A levels, which to be true, I'm not doing much to prepare for it. So yes, I really need to get things sort out.

On a bright side, CNY is here! Though ok, I'm not feeling so super hyped out about it. But I get to see my relative and spend time with my cousins! =D They are the best people for photo opportunity. =D

And yes!! CNY FOOD. =D Always the best~ HAHA! And I think we're going Malaysia for fireworks too! Yea man!!